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My lady doesn't mind my gear, just the extent to which I spend money on it haha

skullservant wrote:My lady doesn't mind my gear, just the extent to which I spend money on it haha

My girlfriend enjoys the fact that I play guitar, but I think she'd rather not see or hear me practicing, which is frustrating. She claims she's got hearing damage and so loud noises hurt her, but we've been to plenty of shows where the volume level is way above what I play at home. She'll complain if my laptop has its volume all the way up, that it is too loud

Our (her) cats were making such a mess of hair and puke on my amps and pedals that I had to move out of the living room (of which, we're not using about half, it's just empty space) and into the attic, which is tiny. Like, 60 sqft with a 45 degree slanting roof tiny. If I play too loud in there, she complains.

And I have to be very careful about mentioning I bought any gear. She's constantly in minimalist / thrifty mode, which I appreciate, but I make enough to both cover all our bills and have a little for gear every month. I have actually been very careful about budgeting, which is why my DIY projects are taking so long.. I've budgeted to buy about one new tool / piece of gear a month.

It's not that she tells me that I can't buy gear (it's my money), it's more like she gets frustrated that I'd rather spend money on gear to get a sound that I want than to, say, save it for something. Which kind of sounds like what skullservant was saying about his lady.

At least she's supportive of me practicing and trying to get better. Rarely it's been an issue that I'm going to hole up in the attic for an hour or two to practice at night, but other than that, she gives me the time and the space to practice and work on my projects. (The few times it's been an issue, she wanted me to spend time with her instead of practicing.) And she's encouraged me when I was discouraged and wanted to quit playing before, as well as been encouraging when I tried to find a guitar teacher (with serious chops, to level me up to serious chops) and when I tried to find others to play music with / to form a band with. It's good to have someone supportive.. I get discouraged and want to quit playing guitar every couple months. So I really appreciate that she's doing that for me.

Yeah Mathias I think we're in the same boat about the money thing. She would no doubt spend any extra money she has for the apartment, etc rather than something for herself and I think that's where she gets upset, cause I pour it into gear. I did try to make an effort to get her nice thoughtful things for Christmas though

Mathias, including the Cats, i had obviously the Same girlfriend before. I changed the girlfriend and Not my personality. Best decision in my Life.

univalve wrote:Mathias, including the Cats, i had obviously the Same girlfriend before. I changed the girlfriend and Not my personality. Best decision in my Life.

Heh, well, it's not nearly annoying enough to me that I'd leave her. My girlfriend and I have built a nice life together, gotten out of bad situations (And in her case, a bad relationship) and started planning for the future. We rarely fight, like, an amazingly tiny amount, and pretty much just get along and are supportive of each other. We've progressed to old married couple mode right after we moved in together. In January we'll have been together 4 years. Oh, and we both work in similar fields and support each other in that, be interested in each other's work, etc., so that's cool. (I rarely meet anyone, much less girls interested in me, that even understand what I do.. and I have a tendency to get excited about my work and ramble on about it for a couple hours.)

Yeah, I my girlfriend.

i don't live with my girl, but she accepts it as a part of me and even though she sometimes makes fun of me, she's cool

i wonder how long that wsill last

sounds like you need a practice space
or would that be outta the question too
i know with some ex gfs and wife
any extracurricular activity
became a subject of jealousy
besides my vices and monkeys
this was the reason i didnt play for 10yrs
remember though
she fell in love with a dude that played guitar
the mathias i know and love
brings a fucking rig to work with him
and its a huge part of his life
dont be a dick about it(i know your not)
also if you guys stop buying gear
im gonna have to startvhangin around
the GCpedal counter
i dont think theyd appreciate that
im sure they hate me already

You shouldn't let women control what you do. They should know that your happieness is objective #1, and something that makes you happy is a good thing to keep doing. If they get jealous of that then they are having problems making themselves happy and that is a much bigger problem than you spending your own money on pedals. Really though people are generally compatible and romantic after spending years together, if they're not totally supporting you then what are you doing planning a future with them? Is there not a possibility of something better?

I think that either I played up the gear buying thing too much, or you're talking about someone else. It really hasn't been an issue other than that I know what she thinks about it, and she doesn't tell me what to do with my own money?

But yeah. She totally supports me and kept me going with guitar when I wanted to quit, by encouraging me. I can't say the same about other people I've had in my life who were a) crazy b) didn't want me to be a person, much less support me in my choices to be that person. (like, they just wanted to control and/or manipulate me.. those people can go to hell.)

Yeah. I'm thankful for that too. My fiance has been to every single one of my shows (except for one, that went horribly), been my merch girl, helped me load in gear, helped me assemble discs and tapes.

I told her yesterday how I felt horribly that I constantly WANT and want to buy gear and she kind of rolled her eyes at me like 'thanks for finally seeing how much you spend on this shit'. But she seemed excited to see how happy I was putting the new faceplate on my Verellen tonight.

mathias wrote:

skullservant wrote:My lady doesn't mind my gear, just the extent to which I spend money on it haha

My girlfriend enjoys the fact that I play guitar, but I think she'd rather not see or hear me practicing, which is frustrating. She claims she's got hearing damage and so loud noises hurt her, but we've been to plenty of shows where the volume level is way above what I play at home. She'll complain if my laptop has its volume all the way up, that it is too loud

Our (her) cats were making such a mess of hair and puke on my amps and pedals that I had to move out of the living room (of which, we're not using about half, it's just empty space) and into the attic, which is tiny. Like, 60 sqft with a 45 degree slanting roof tiny. If I play too loud in there, she complains.

And I have to be very careful about mentioning I bought any gear. She's constantly in minimalist / thrifty mode, which I appreciate, but I make enough to both cover all our bills and have a little for gear every month. I have actually been very careful about budgeting, which is why my DIY projects are taking so long.. I've budgeted to buy about one new tool / piece of gear a month.

It's not that she tells me that I can't buy gear (it's my money), it's more like she gets frustrated that I'd rather spend money on gear to get a sound that I want than to, say, save it for something. Which kind of sounds like what skullservant was saying about his lady.

At least she's supportive of me practicing and trying to get better. Rarely it's been an issue that I'm going to hole up in the attic for an hour or two to practice at night, but other than that, she gives me the time and the space to practice and work on my projects. (The few times it's been an issue, she wanted me to spend time with her instead of practicing.) And she's encouraged me when I was discouraged and wanted to quit playing before, as well as been encouraging when I tried to find a guitar teacher (with serious chops, to level me up to serious chops) and when I tried to find others to play music with / to form a band with. It's good to have someone supportive.. I get discouraged and want to quit playing guitar every couple months. So I really appreciate that she's doing that for me.

sounds like you need a nice little tube practice amp?

vintage sears and other department store ones always sound pretty nice and they're cheap

Yeah. The Echidna (my hybrid practice amp project) solves a couple problems in that I want to be able to have it in the living room for jamming on, as well as another one at work so that I have something a little more full-sounding than my orange micro crush battery amp. And I've got a supro circuit (with some super funky power tube) to stick in my dead Valve Jr that I still haven't installed...

mathias wrote:

univalve wrote:Mathias, including the Cats, i had obviously the Same girlfriend before. I changed the girlfriend and Not my personality. Best decision in my Life.

Yeah, I my girlfriend.

I just wrote my experience. We were together 9 years. Pretty much all the people thought we were set. But a New Job and the weekly commuting made me reflect my situation. After 9 months of thinking about it, i left her. That was 10 years ago and i Never regreted it. It was a great time with her but i'm now more the Person i want to be. Strange Life

My current gf (3yrs together now) is a total metal head and loves hearing/watching me play my bass. She loves my taste in effects, and gets as disapointed as I do when I can't afford something new and interesting i'm lusting after online.

She reads over my shoulder when I'm on gear forums, and thinks it's 'fucking sad' when guys admit they hide their effects/gear purchases from their wives/girlfriends. If you can't be totally honest and yourself with your lady, you're better off with your own hand and a Sasha Gray flick (she thinks Shasha Gray is fucking awesome too, by the way).

I bought her a Schecter Devil Spine guitar (which she loves) and have upgraded the shitty EMG 81 to a Petrucci humbucker, which she also loves. I've assembled a pretty sick effects pedal board for her, which she also too loves. She purchased her first effects pedal a few months ago (Black Light Rainbow Machine #45/50) and loves that too, especially since it's so rare.

We're (kinda) working on putting together a 3 piece 'space metal' band in which she will play guitar and scream, and I will play bass. We still need a drummer. She screams like a banshee goddess and looks amazing in tight jeans (finest ass I've ever seen on a white girl, no... seriously, see Marvel comic super hero drawings for examples).

Money is always tight, and whenever I suggest selling effects pedals we dont absolutely need (we acutally use everything we own) to get caught up on bills she gets visibly sad. So we remain broke, but with sick pedal boards. She barely practices her guitar, but I don't mind because when she does, she is sooooo happy with the board I've assembled for her and the guitar I bought for her.

A woman will give your strength, or take it away, or simply not give a shit and leave you alone. I'll take the former or the later, but never second choice. Life is too short for stupid shit, and bitching over what makes me happy tops the list of stupid shit (maybe I've had too many cool girlfriends in my life).

I had one girlfriend, once, that criticized me for my video game and pot smoking habit. I left her within a few months (and she was a hot black chick with also an amazing ass). My thoughts are, you don't have to love me, or even like me, but give me shit for who I choose to be and you get the big fuck off from me.

My girlfriend thinks I'm 'awesome', and tells me so fairly often. I think she's awesome too.

That's cool that your girlfriend is so into things, but at the same time I think her being so into gear and playing music also would open up her understanding about wanting gear so badly, because she goes through it herself.

I'm not trying to assume anything at all, but I DEFINITELY think if my fiancé was in a band with me and actively used pedals and saw how each were different, that she wouldn't get upset about me trying to justify a $200 pedal when we've got groceries to buy haha