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Just show her a lot of pics and videos of poor people with lots of kids, looking miserable.

I just broke two ribs trying to save my friends life. The girl that i care about would rather watch some fucking local band then know how im doing. I fucking hate everything.

Soooo, I wish I knew where the part of my wavebird that connects to the Game Cube is.

and that this girl would like talk to me.

skullservant wrote:Yeah and that's what I keep trying to tell her. Until I get a job that pays MORE, we can't have a baby. We ARE living paycheck to paycheck and it sucks. I've tried reasoning that if we can barely afford ourselves, how can we afford another human?

Hurrm. I see your problem, I would argue against it though. It might be a projection of the fear that men usually have from procreating. If you can get help from f.ex. your family with the bigger expenses like baby furniture etc. it is not that much more money that goes into a household of three persons than one of two. Of course I don't know how much money you really have. And if you can barely get along and she has to work full-time as well for that, forget it. She should be able to see that point too though. But yeah, once they get the itch its hard to talk em out of it.
From my (bad) experience I would advise you to check on your relationship before you guys decide on a child. I've had my love and marriage fall apart so I tend to warn everyone about this:
Raising a child is like a constant crisis for about a year. Sleep depravation, worries you never thought you had and just no break from it. It is really stressful. Have you gone through something like that with her? How have both of you reacted? Do you know how to keep her happy and stay happy yourself in such situations?



BTW: Kids are awesome!

Oh my gawd you guys, yeah. Life is great!

phantasmagorovich wrote:

skullservant wrote:Yeah and that's what I keep trying to tell her. Until I get a job that pays MORE, we can't have a baby. We ARE living paycheck to paycheck and it sucks. I've tried reasoning that if we can barely afford ourselves, how can we afford another human?

Hurrm. I see your problem, I would argue against it though. It might be a projection of the fear that men usually have from procreating. If you can get help from f.ex. your family with the bigger expenses like baby furniture etc. it is not that much more money that goes into a household of three persons than one of two. Of course I don't know how much money you really have. And if you can barely get along and she has to work full-time as well for that, forget it. She should be able to see that point too though. But yeah, once they get the itch its hard to talk em out of it.
From my (bad) experience I would advise you to check on your relationship before you guys decide on a child. I've had my love and marriage fall apart so I tend to warn everyone about this:
Raising a child is like a constant crisis for about a year. Sleep depravation, worries you never thought you had and just no break from it. It is really stressful. Have you gone through something like that with her? How have both of you reacted? Do you know how to keep her happy and stay happy yourself in such situations?



BTW: Kids are awesome!

All of the above is correct. You can pick up heaps of rad baby stuff second hand - clothes, prams, cots you name it. And youngsters don't need that much stuff anyway. Nappies (diapers) are about the only extra expense you really notice. But man, you've gotta have a good relationship. My son's almost two and I'm still getting less sleep than I need. You have less time for yourself and less time for each other which is tough, no two ways about it.

But despite all the negatives kids are the best. You just have to know what you're getting into, and then somehow ignore that knowledge and just go for it. Haha.

But don't listen to anyone - it's your decision.

... As someone who was born once I feel like a real burden now.

So last night im at my friends house having a couple drinks celebrating the successful end of a semester. One of my friends got out of control, started crying, and started threatening to kill himself. At one point he ran for his car, grabbed a loaded pistol and tried to kill himself. I wrestled the gun from him and, in the process, fell over a ledge onto some rocks and railroad ties and broke two of my ribs, sustained heavy cuts/scraping/bruising to my back, arms, and knees. I also broke my glasses. I stayed long enough to remove all weapons from the house and wrestle him into his bedroom and force him to stay there until he went to sleep. I then went to the emergency room (where i got a bill in the thousands, of course) and came home to talk to the cops until around 5 am to stop them from putting my friend in a psych ward. Hes a veteran, which means that should that happen, theres a likelyhood theyd remove all his guns and put him on a PTSD watch list. this morning I woke up to this text.

that is heavy.

be well and heal well.

What a fucker!


On a tangential note my day was pretty shitty. I had a blind date yesterday that started out with me being flattened by how good the lady looked and ended with me being annoyed by how much boring stuff she was telling me. I woke up with a huge headache and felt sickly. After a long goodbye to my bed I went outside. Realized I had my keys in the other jacket and locked myself out, had a buddy call me and calling in his 80€ I was owing, him being all stressful about it. Twisted my ankle walking to our meetup, trying to swap a dress my mother bought that didn't fit and now she told me I could swap it and get something for the money. No receipt, no swapping. A sort of frustration made me buy stuff I don't need: 3 books and four soup bowls and a present for a friend. I also fucked up dinner. didn't cook the meat right so the whole noodle soup wasn't exactly yummy.

Also: that feeling you know someone you see on the subway but you're not sure and you ask yourself who it is while being paranoid that person might recognize and greet you... That feeling doesn't get any better if the person in question is dressed up as a flamenco dancer.

Gawd! I've never asked anyone out in person before, and I'm trying to work up the courage to ask out coffe-shop girl. I've chickened out 3 times already

WHY DON'T I HAVE BETTER SELF CONFIDENCE?

wfs1234 wrote:Gawd! I've never asked anyone out in person before, and I'm trying to work up the courage to ask out coffe-shop girl. I've chickened out 3 times already

WHY DON'T I HAVE BETTER SELF CONFIDENCE?

I know that feel man....Just remember; you are AWESOME and can do anything you want

RR Bigman wrote:

wfs1234 wrote:Gawd! I've never asked anyone out in person before, and I'm trying to work up the courage to ask out coffe-shop girl. I've chickened out 3 times already

WHY DON'T I HAVE BETTER SELF CONFIDENCE?

I know that feel man....Just remember; you are AWESOME and can do anything you want

Same, this is a familiar situation. Don't have much advice but good luck, bro! If she's flirted with you then you don't need to worry.

greyscales wrote:

RR Bigman wrote:

wfs1234 wrote:Gawd! I've never asked anyone out in person before, and I'm trying to work up the courage to ask out coffe-shop girl. I've chickened out 3 times already

WHY DON'T I HAVE BETTER SELF CONFIDENCE?

I know that feel man....Just remember; you are AWESOME and can do anything you want

Same, this is a familiar situation. Don't have much advice but good luck, bro! If she's flirted with you then you don't need to worry.

Thanks guys

I don't know if she's flirted with me or if I've read something into nothing. I've never been able to recognize if someone's flirting with me or not. If she says no, it's no big deal. She works at the cafe on campus and finals are almost done, so, there wouldn't be much time for awkwardness. Just hope she's not Mormon...

wfs, just get drunk/take benzos. Also, remember that it's going to be awkward no matter what, even if you are successful. There's never any point in waiting for the "right" moment. Just act.

And as I've said, intoxication helps.

I haven't initiated a relationship sober since high school...