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A lot of this stuff makes sense
I have been on fluvoxamine for two years and it just started to eat away at me, had depression for about the last 7 years and at this point it feels so organic
Changing my mess now, I hate this time period because it makes my mind so volatile and unpredictable

Stuff that could help is being diagnosed with abergers and sensory processing disorder earlier this week, maybe I can find more solutions

12 hour work day tomorrow. Gonna be fuuuuuuuuun yeah right.
At least I'll get some sweet overtime this week.

dubkitty wrote:not only that, but people resent that you're "negative all the time." in the meanwhile, i'm trying to find something other than Lulu (my cat) to give enough of a shit about to bother to eat or get out of bed.

i went around in circles with therapists for years over the issue of whether depression was a cognitive distortion or a more accurate perception of reality than most people can stand to look at. i finally had to conclude that whether it's accurate or not i can't live with it, but i still have the nagging feeling that i'm lying to myself when i tell myself that things will get better while i've been out of work for two and a half years.

Yeah that's pretty interesting and it reminded me of an article I read a while back http://www.damninteresting.com/the-total-perspective-vortex/ which essentially discusses just that. I don't think that's the whole story though and likely the truth, as always, lies somewhere in the middle. I also think having family you care about or a pet or anything is important when you're depressed because you do become pretty self-centered, but not in the traditional way. Obsessive self loathing really is just the other side of the narcissism coin, you start blaming yourself for every-bloody-thing even if it has nothing to do with you. You can tell yourself logically that it isn't your fault but that doesn't stop yourself feeling it. Also, your cousin sounds like a proper dickhead.

Double also, it's pretty cool that we can discuss this sort of thing on the forum. I've been to forums in the past where any mention of mental health gets awkward really fast. Of course it's usually in the thread along the lines of "My brother blew his brains out all over the roof of his car yesterday afternoon, please help me understand" which I then try and do so I don't fucking know, maybe I bring it upon myself.

this is by far the least judgemental and most supportive forum i'm on when it comes to these questions. and i'm deeply grateful for it.

i'll check the article out.

What defines a mental disorder is not unreasonable or illogical thought, but abnormal behaviour that causes significant distress and impairs normal functioning in society. Treatment is about restoring a person to that level of normal functioning and satisfaction, even if it means building cognitions that aren’t precisely “rational” or “realistic.”

Well put into words. I could only intuit the same concept, but it is very satisfying to read it coherently put like that.

Man.
"But that won't be until you're 30, which is...5 years from now".
In a little over 5 years I WILL be 30. Fuck, I haven't done anything at all.
Suddenly, nausea.

So I called two days ago to FedEx because the case for my modular said delievered at my in laws house, but they never got anything or remember getting anything.
Yeah, it was the day of my wedding, but they were still home at the time it says delievered and they said they didn't notice anything on the front door step.
Anyways, I called to report it two days ago and never heard back. Went to the front desk at work today and apparently I had given them my work number for whatever reason and they transferred the call to my boss who never transferred the call to me.
So I call back to FedEx tonight and they don't have a record saying that they were going to send the driver back out to make sure the package was actually delivered, so I have no clue what the result of that was. But they tell me they are opening up a lost package claim and that upon the completion of these forms I'll get the cost of the case back. I really just want to go to my in-laws and look around to see if they did get the package and just dont remember. But who knows. The wife and I are opening up wedding gifts this weekend at my moms house and a few came to my in-laws, so I'm hoping it for whatever reason got lumped in with those. If it is really lost though, I guess I'll just buy another case or whatever with the money fed ex gives me

this essay is killing me i feel like im gonna puke in my lap thats how drained i am

Broke my damn glasses in a weird spot. Not sure how I'm gonna fix em.

i hate that. i've soldered, glued, and straightened so many sets of frames over the years that i can't even count them.

These are my first pair and I've only had them two years. I didn't even do anything stupid to them, they just decided to break.

Also Storm Thorgerson died and CISPA passed? What a stupid fricking day.

There's 8 inches of snow outside of my house...

EDIT:

I suck at posting shit in the right thread.

morange wrote:

Twangasaurus wrote:Broke my damn glasses in a weird spot. Not sure how I'm gonna fix em.

Oculus Reparo!

I believe! Yer a wizard Twangasaurus!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cJzhq6OTXE[/youtube]