It’s back from the dead! The TB Mega Thread.

[Eric!]

edit: 701? REALLY? REALLY, GUYS?!

[wsas3]

Oh... Oh my....
edit. I'Z A MILF NAOW.

[nieh]

there was a lack of robot titties on the last page.

[Joe Gress]

So I about cried reading this I was laughing so hard:
* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.

* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL
The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.

* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.

* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

[MSUsousaphone]

there was a lack of robot titties on the last page.

Operant conditioning. The rules of frequency have been violated.

[Pollinator95]

So I about cried reading this I was laughing so hard:
[Snip]

Reminds me of something the economics teacher gave us explainig different economic systems with sheep. I'll try to find it.

[Pollinator95]

You'd better appreciate this it took me ages to translate the whole fucking thing from spanish.

Socialism:
You have two cows. The state forces you to give one to your neighbour.

Communism:
You have two cows. The state takes from you and gives you some milk.

Fascism:
You have two cows. The state takes them and sells you some milk.

Nazism:
You have two cows. The state takes them and shoots you in the face.

Bureucratism:
You have two cows. The state loses one, milks the other and then spills the milk.

Traditional capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You make more cows. You sell the cows and make money.

Modern capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your company to invest in the global market.
Afterwards you exchange your debt participations with the general associated sale so you have your four cows back, exempt from taxes because of trading five cows.
The milk from your six cows is transferred through an intermediary to a company based in the Cayman Islands that sells the rights to the seven cows back to your company.
The annual summary shows that you have eight cows with option for another one.
You take your nine cows and cut them into bits. Then you sell your ten diced cows to other people.
Funnily enough, throughout the whole process nobody seems to realize that, in fact, you have only two cows.

Japanese economy:
You have two cows. You redesign them to 1:10 scale and make them produce twice as much milk. But you don't get rich. You recreate the whole process with cartoons. You call them "Moomon" and, incomprehensibly, become a millionaire.

German economy:
You have two cows. Through an ardous reingeneering process you get to make them live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
Nobody thinks there's any merit in that.

Russian economy:
You have two cows. You count five cows. You count them again and you seem to have two-hundred and fifty-seven cows. You count again and get three cows.
You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.

Chinese economy:
You have two cows. You have three-hundred people milking them.
You explain to the world your amazing ratio of milky production.
You shoot a journalist who wants to thell the truth.

Swiss economy:
There are five-thousand million cows.
They obviously have an owner but no-one seems to know who it is.

French economy:
You have two cows. You declare a strike, organize a violent revolution, burn cars and block all the roads in the country, because what you really want is three cows.

Spanish economy:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. But since it's friday, you go down to the bar for breakfast because they always have free newspapers there.
You'll probably get round to looking for them on wednesday, after the bank holiday.

[alexa.]

^HAHAAHHAHHA SOOOOOO TRUE!

[goroth]

Hahaha!

That was worth every second you spent translating that. Awesome!

[goroth]

PS, your avatar is just too rad Pollinator. The story behind it is completely un-fucking-believable!

[excane]

Friday morning awesomeness

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoKCgHInAuM[/youtube]

[Derelict78]

I love it Pollinator!
I had to share it.

[excane]

You'd better appreciate this it took me ages to translate the whole fucking thing from spanish.

GOLD

Love it.

[Chankgeez]

PS, your avatar is just too rad Pollinator. The story behind it is completely un-fucking-believable!

Yeah, I still can't believe it.

[alexa.]

Tell me the story of the avatar.