Disarm D'arcy wrote:I have a set of exams in two weeks. I'm stressed.
Last night I dreamt I went to the administration's office at the Uni and they printed my notes. I started realizing that the best was 12,5 and 3 others were 8-9 (notes are on 20 over here). I realized two were missing on the paper and asked them to give them to me. They started looking on the computer and after a while they started laughing. One of them said "There are no notes because you didn't show up, mongoli". I was hurt by the derogative term and wanted to speak but the other administrator got around the desk and wrote zeros in the blank boxes. I couldn't believe it was possible. I started trying to remember the exams but I couldn't. The thought of being violent to myself enough to impose myself another year of Uni was unbearable. Let's just say that my depression is correlated to the level of my attendance, and have been since late elementary, early middle school, and that outside of school, I'm a rather happy person. I was so destroyed. I kinda blacked out trying to remember if I did went to the exams or not and how I could have forgotten to attend both of my majors. It lasted for a while. I decided I had to kill myself.
That's when I woke up in a panic attack.
This is, in part, why I said fuck it and quit Uni. It was too much for me. Recently met a girl I attended with and she was like "dude you changed so much, happy and open and relaxed and not staring at the ground all the time", and I was like, lol, you never saw me outside of uni
Good luck to you!
Just think of all the positive things that come when you finish. Globs of free time and post-uni rehab and living life! It's not like you can get a job with the state EU is in, anyway
. There are definitely some interesting parallels between the two though. He is actually into boxing and martial arts (which he used to essentially break an OCD driven computer game addiction) and I can honestly say that it has helped him a little but his biggest problems revolve around his inability to properly connect with people, not to imply that he places on the spectrum or anything like that it's just that his thinking is so twisted he might as well be on another planet sometimes. I get scared for him you know, he could just straight up never be able to mitigate his illness to the point that he can lead a relatively functional and hopefully happy life and it's his brother who is going to be stuck with him. Overall it was an exhausting and frankly distressing exercise, I just needed to vent a bit so thanks.
