The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread...

[jfrey]

That part I made bold is important.
Nothing will get better if you wait for it to fix itself.
You have to try. You have to communicate and try. Waiting won't solve anything.
If there is another girl around, use it as motivation to fix things more. It's perfectly normal to have wandering eyes. There are lots of cool people around, but hopefully your girlfriend is cooler.

I am much too young to give this advice, but about 6 months ago I ruined a 4 year relationship. If I had really tried instead of waiting, I would more likely than not still be in that relationship. Don't do the same thing as me.

The thing is, I've done that stuff. I've done - and continue to do - what I can on my part. And, I've talked to her, but she's so hyper-sensitive to criticism that she takes anything as like an attack. I've already put nearly 7 years into this relationship, and I'm starting to think that if I'm going to get out it has to be soon. I'm going to have another talk with her, and try to seriously convey what needs to change if we're going to stay together. I just hope she actually listens. If she doesn't though, I'm not going to bemoan it.

[phantasmagorovich]

That part I made bold is important.
Nothing will get better if you wait for it to fix itself.
You have to try. You have to communicate and try. Waiting won't solve anything.
If there is another girl around, use it as motivation to fix things more. It's perfectly normal to have wandering eyes. There are lots of cool people around, but hopefully your girlfriend is cooler.

I am much too young to give this advice, but about 6 months ago I ruined a 4 year relationship. If I had really tried instead of waiting, I would more likely than not still be in that relationship. Don't do the same thing as me.

The thing is, I've done that stuff. I've done - and continue to do - what I can on my part. And, I've talked to her, but she's so hyper-sensitive to criticism that she takes anything as like an attack. I've already put nearly 7 years into this relationship, and I'm starting to think that if I'm going to get out it has to be soon. I'm going to have another talk with her, and try to seriously convey what needs to change if we're going to stay together. I just hope she actually listens. If she doesn't though, I'm not going to bemoan it.

If you are serious about this I think the discussion has ended.


My own gripe with life: My sweet co-worker told me about her date last night. I am devastated.

[jfrey]

If you are serious about this I think the discussion has ended.

Yeah, that probably didn't go across right. Or, well, at least not the way that that is for me.

I do this thing I call "skipping the emotional middleman". So like if I start to be upset about something but I know that I'll eventually be over it, I just skip to being over it. I always forget that most people don't operate like that. The only time I ever get stuck in an emotional state is when I'm not positive what the next step is. Right now I don't know whether things will work out, or even if that would be the best option. As a result I'm like super stressed. Once I decide on something though I'll already be past all of this.

[skullservant]

Got paid $50 less than I was expecting for last weeks hours at the office because of my interview on Tuesday, and then on top of that a hotel fee from seeing Sunn on Friday night which I had thought already came out came out this morning with the money I needed to use to switch over to my wife's phone plan. So now I've got to use our joint account which we've both been trying not to touch to save money, and thus led to my 'Emergency Sale' this morning.

[phantasmagorovich]

If you are serious about this I think the discussion has ended.

Yeah, that probably didn't go across right.

I do this thing I call "skipping the emotional middleman". So like if I start to be upset about something but I know that I'll eventually be over it, I just skip to being over it. I always forget that most people don't operate like that. The only time I ever get stuck in an emotional state is when I'm not positive what the next step is. Right now I don't know whether things will work out, or even if that would be the best option. As a result I'm like super stressed. Once I decide on something though I'll already be past all of this.

Ok, I get what you mean. But do you still know if you would be horribly down if you didn't skip it? Because that is a pretty good indicator some times.

On a whole different level - this skipping the emotional part does not sound healthy in the long run. Do you always do it or just sometimes if you choose to?

[Fuzzy Picklez]

Well I hope you get it sorted dude.

On a somewhat related note, why do I attract rich, high school girls?
I am seriously rich girl bait. I don't even understand. Everyone that has ever had any interest in me has been insanely wealthy.
My family is like, lower middle class. Maybe I seem dangerous... like a high risk loan?
I am so confused. Also, 20. I need high schoolers to stay away from me.

[jfrey]

On a whole different level - this skipping the emotional part does not sound healthy in the long run. Do you always do it or just sometimes if you choose to?

Ever since I was a kid. I've always been able to manipulate my emotions, thoughts, and even tastes in things. I actually remember the first day I ever did it. I was five and at my friend Will's house. My mom would usually stay for a while after dropping me off, and whenever she left I would be afraid and beg her to stay. Suddenly one day the concept hit me (I know at five right? lol). You see I always felt perfectly fine again just a few minutes after she was gone, and I realized I could just skip to that. I've never felt fear since that day. It's so automatic now that I don't even think about it.

I skip anger in the same way (hot anger at least, cold anger is different. does anyone else make that distinction?). Sadness is more tricky. If it's minor or not really valid I just skip it, but if it's more profound I sort of create a hypothetical version of myself and put him in a separate room in my mind. Once he works through it then I open up the room, and "remember" working through it. It's sort of like using a multi-core processor to handle certain tasks.

I can do similar things with feelings like pain. If it's a small pain I sort of jump ahead of the signal and just cut it off. If it's a larger pain, I have to sort of "knock" it off track so it doesn't get to the part of my mind that experiences pain. This works with everything except dull consistent pains - like a migraine or stomach ache for example.

Sigh... I probably shouldn't have posted all that. My girlfriend has always told me that the way I think isn't normal, but I'm not sure I've ever quite believed her completely. It seems normal to me. I read a book recently called Moonwalking with Einstein, and it talks a lot about memory palaces, and using memory palaces has felt incredibly similar to the things I already did, like they're just different uses of the same things in my mind.

[phantasmagorovich]

On a whole different level - this skipping the emotional part does not sound healthy in the long run. Do you always do it or just sometimes if you choose to?

Ever since I was a kid. I've always been able to manipulate my emotions, thoughts, and even tastes in things. I actually remember the first day I ever did it. I was five and at my friend Will's house. My mom would usually stay for a while after dropping me off, and whenever she left I would be afraid and beg her to stay. Suddenly one day the concept hit me (I know at five right? lol). You see I always felt perfectly fine again just a few minutes after she was gone, and I realized I could just skip to that. I've never felt fear since that day. It's so automatic now that I don't even think about it.

I skip anger in the same way (hot anger at least, cold anger is different. does anyone else make that distinction?). Sadness is more tricky. If it's minor or not really valid I just skip it, but if it's more profound I sort of create a hypothetical version of myself and put him in a separate room in my mind. Once he works through it then I open up the room, and "remember" working through it. It's sort of like using a multi-core processor to handle certain tasks.

I can do similar things with feelings like pain. If it's a small pain I sort of jump ahead of the signal and just cut it off. If it's a larger pain, I have to sort of "knock" it off track so it doesn't get to the part of my mind that experiences pain. This works with everything except dull consistent pains - like a migraine or stomach ache for example.

Sigh... I probably shouldn't have posted all that. My girlfriend has always told me that the way I think isn't normal, but I'm not sure I've ever quite believed her completely.

It's not the usual at least. Hard to relate to for someone that copes with bad feelings quite in the opposite way (I indulge and live through them at full throttle. Works for me) But it definitely sounds like you would make a good Jedi!

It reminds me of this book I hear while driving:


It describes pretty much the same thing. It is one of the main premises of being able to be a mage in the book. But he takes it one step further. In the book the mage apprentice learns to use it in a creative way. He can split his mind in quite the way you explain but not only based on feelings but on thought. He learns to truly believe two opposite things by willing to do so. He also learns to separate his mind in a way that he can play games with himself etc.

[jfrey]

Someone actually recommended me that book, but I've been waiting for the second one to be out in paperback so I can read them both in one go.

But it definitely sounds like you would make a good Jedi!

[IEatCats]

None of my friends are responding to me about hanging out tonight, which is weird, because I thought I had plans.

[MEC]

The new eBay design is so fucking horrible it hurts my brain.
I really don't see what was wrong with the old design.

[wsas3]

None of my friends are responding to me about hanging out tonight, which is weird, because I thought I had plans.

I hate that shit, feels like a wasted day even if you get shit done. I have a hard time prioritizing my time between friends and work and shit, so i totz feel you there man.

[futuresailors]

That "oh, that BIN is a pretty good price, but I'll try to get it cheaper through bidding and then it ends up going for double the original BIN and you can't afford it" feeling.

[excane]

The new eBay design is so fucking horrible it hurts my brain.
I really don't see what was wrong with the old design.

x1000. It sucks.

[bigchiefbc]

That "oh, that BIN is a pretty good price, but I'll try to get it cheaper through bidding and then it ends up going for double the original BIN and you can't afford it" feeling.