The Confessions Thread

[BetterOffShred]

For real. Weekend looks like this
Out: Real pants, showering, alarm clock.
In: sweats, fuzzy socks and clogs, 10:37 am beer, ramen noodles for at least 1 meal

[dubkitty]

my weekend: get up at 9 so i can go online for a Radiohead ticket; out for McDonalds and a latte; back to bed. lather, rinse, repeat substituting Taco Bell for McD's and sans the Radiohead ticket. i'd better change the litter box, though, or there's likely to be trouble.

[Invisible Man]

Found a poem from second grade that prompted a call home:

you are a great mom
I hope you don’t get hit by a bomb
I know that sometimes I am a pest
But please don’t kick me out of the nest

And there’s a drawing of a bird’s foot shooting a baby bird out of a tree toward its demise.

[$harkToootth]

I'm going to piggy back off that IM. We had to make a town out of cheerios in third grade. Mine had three 'bars' in it.

In second grade, I also thought the class would enjoy the story of when my family went to Mexico and we took pictures with an Iguana with a diaper. I told the story of how my brother put it on my head and it farted. Call home. Sit down chat with family. Sadly, my sense of humor has changed very little since then.

[Chankgeez]

I'm a fan of cats pooping outdoors.

[dubkitty]

i'm all for it, but Lulu and i live in a fifth-floor apartment so the logistics are prohibitive

[Mudfuzz]

i'm all for it, but Lulu and i live in a fifth-floor apartment so the logistics are prohibitive

A bit of careful training on aiming and many people below could potentially have their day enriched.

[Chankgeez]

Wasn't suggestin', dubs, just confessin'.

[dubkitty]

[Achtane]

The other day, a customer called and didn't say anything for a few seconds, then I heard that they had me on speakerphone, so I said "hello?" a couple more times and hung up.
The work phone is already too quiet and inarticulate, in a loud area. I can only take so many motherfuckers trying to mumble at me from 10 feet away, plus their music, plus their kids crying, plus whatever other stupid conversation they interrupt me to continue with the people around them.
I don't even acknowledge customers that walk up while talking on their phones.
Retail makes me hate everyone.

[Kacey Y]

I have a lot of similar experiences, dealing with a lot of various type of building contractors through most of my jobs. I pick up the phone and someone is already having a conversation with someone in person on the other end and after about 10 seconds, they go "oh...yeah, hey...hold on a second...". MOTHERFUCKER, YOU CALLED ME.

[comesect2.0]

the dude at the starbucks counter never looked me in the eye, he just stared at my chest, either.. he liked my Kuato "free your mind" t shirt, or he just could not keep his eyes off my tits, fucking men..whata buncha pigs!

[BetterOffShred]

the dude at the starbucks counter never looked me in the eye, he just stared at my chest, either.. he liked my Kuato "free your mind" t shirt, or he just could not keep his eyes off my tits, fucking men..whata buncha pigs!

Kuato is a mutant

[comesect2.0]

Kuato lives

[BetterOffShred]

"Lemme ask you a question, You ever fuck a mutant?"
-Benny