The Confessions Thread

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Kacey Y
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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$harkToootth wrote:
weebles wrote:My wife really, REALLY wants to shave her head before she turns 30. So, within the next year.

Working through the reality that she is her own autonomous person, with her own real desires, with my own personal desires that I really don't want her to shave her head because I like the way she looks now...
Honestly, one of my cooler ex-girlfriends had a shaved head and I thought it was fucking sexy. I met her when she had it though and only later in life found out what she looked like with hair.
Not telling you what to do but...I say you encourage it!!!

@Corey - Sorry to hear about your wife. Hope you find something that works homie.
What about my wife? What have you heard? Is she shaving her head too? I'm into it.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by $harkToootth »

In reference to the anxiety. I cannabis oil decriminalized where you are?
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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$harkToootth wrote:In reference to the anxiety. I cannabis oil decriminalized where you are?
Oh yeah, my whole family is nuts, no worries. I guess CBD is legal everywhere, the Feds and/or the courts determined it has no relationship to controlled substances at all. It's made from hemp, contains no THC. Apparently it's shown consistent anti-anxiety effects in animal models and some in very specific human trials. She's keen on it, I'll try it and see how it goes. I read a few things saying that most of the actual proven medicinal qualities associated with marijuana (chemically speaking) are being bread out of strains, as a side effect of maximum THC potency. So CBD is supposed to just contain the medicinal components, still present in the hemp form of the plant.

I'm not an expert, but it's not total bunk so I'll check it out.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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I listen to way too much Joe Rogan so I've only heard about benefits.
I haven't smoked pot probably since my teens...but every time I did...I would want to lock myself in a room and write down a list of every mistake I ever made. Never enjoyed it. I know they're not the same though.
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"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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$harkToootth wrote:I listen to way too much Joe Rogan so I've only heard about benefits.
I haven't smoked pot probably since my teens...but every time I did...I would want to lock myself in a room and write down a list of every mistake I ever made. Never enjoyed it. I know they're not the same though.
You sound like my wife, every pot experience she ever had was just heart palpitations and paranoia. I haven't smoked weed in about 10-12 years or so. I used to all the time, then steadily less once I was in a relationship and eventually quit a couple years after I got married. I just get really mellow and silly when I'm high, only ever had a few weird/anxious/negative experiences. Mostly it makes me just want to listen to music, eat, watch movies and fall asleep. Which is kind of already my default mode, so I needed to dial it back. I instantly lost like half of my casual friends when I quit smoking, because when you're in your mid 20's and you quit weed, stoners act like you suddenly pulled out an FBI badge. Everyone I've known who's over 40 and smokes it's like a way of life, like people who drink all day and never seem drunk, and I just can't do that shit.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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Thought my banter brethren would enjoy this. Happened two minutes ago.

DAD: Didn't even shower yet...and I just sharted!

Happy Thanksgiving Folks!!!
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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$harkToootth wrote:Thought my banter brethren would enjoy this. Happened two minutes ago.

DAD: Didn't even shower yet...and I just sharted!

Happy Thanksgiving Folks!!!
:lol: I'm glad your dad has a sense of humor. :thumb: And happy Thanksgiving to you and all the rest of you crazy fuckers too - 'murican or not, have an excellent day. :hello:
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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$harkToootth wrote:Thought my banter brethren would enjoy this. Happened two minutes ago.

DAD: Didn't even shower yet...and I just sharted!

Happy Thanksgiving Folks!!!
Just to say...right before a shower is the optimal time for a shart. The worst time, obviously being right after a shower.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by BetterOffShred »

I feel like during a shower deserves an honorable mention, dust in the wind.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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BetterOffShred wrote:I feel like during a shower deserves an honorable mention, dust in the wind.
Really dicey territory there.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Post by $harkToootth »

Yeah, don't 'pufnstuf' the drains.
Image
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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$harkToootth wrote:Yeah, don't 'pufnstuf' the drains.
Image
Yep, it's the same amount of steps leading up to "oh that was just a really hard fart" as it is to "I'm going to need a roll of paper towels, some trash bags, a lot of bleach, an hour of free time and another shower".
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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My cousin told us some tales at the Thanksgiving table yesterday. Apparently on one of her trips she had colitis. They had a boat tour planned that she thought she could handle. She couldn't and (in her words) had to discretely shit off the boat a couple of times. The way she described it was a 'no harm no foul' situation.

Upon pressing the matter further, she described the boat and subsequently my family had to tell her that everybody she was with totally knew :lol:
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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$harkToootth wrote:My cousin told us some tales at the Thanksgiving table yesterday. Apparently on one of her trips she had colitis. They had a boat tour planned that she thought she could handle. She couldn't and (in her words) had to discretely shit off the boat a couple of times. The way she described it was a 'no harm no foul' situation.

Upon pressing the matter further, she described the boat and subsequently my family had to tell her that everybody she was with totally knew :lol:
A certain amount of cognitive dissonance is necessary for survival and sanity. Like the idea that there's any way to shit off the side of a boat discretely.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

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Corey Y wrote:
$harkToootth wrote:My cousin told us some tales at the Thanksgiving table yesterday. Apparently on one of her trips she had colitis. They had a boat tour planned that she thought she could handle. She couldn't and (in her words) had to discretely shit off the boat a couple of times. The way she described it was a 'no harm no foul' situation.

Upon pressing the matter further, she described the boat and subsequently my family had to tell her that everybody she was with totally knew :lol:
A certain amount of cognitive dissonance is necessary for survival and sanity. Like the idea that there's any way to shit off the side of a boat discretely.
:lol:
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