Soy Boyz 2: Eclectic Boobaloo

[JonnyAngle]

If you ever want to be completely emasculated...
If you wanna feel more impotent than ever...
If you just need to experience the sexual equivalent of a transmission failure, or perhaps a dumpster fire...

Try a hot bondage/sensory deprivation scenario with a significant other who has ADHD, my dudes.
Never again. My confidence took a while to recover. I flew too close to the sun.

The more specific the better

[Achtane]

One night, the gf won $100 on a scratcher ticket, so instead of doing something foolish like saving it, we blew it all in an emporium of expensive weighted motors and fake dongs. Oh, plus I bought ratcheting tie-downs because I thought it would be amusing and the sound could be a turn-on.

It turned out that they weren't long enough to be run under the bed like I wanted. So she'd have to be in a very specific location. Whatever, it'll work.
The blindfold we got was weirdly too tight and acted more like a migraine inducing torture device.
The belt-like cuffs were cheaply made and didn't tighten enough to be convincing. We improvised with a rope made of material that, as we later discovered, she's allergic to!

Anyway, I thought it'd be cool to make her wear headphones and run some, like, harsh industrial music through em to drown out any outside sound. I couldn't find anything besides earbuds, which kept falling out when she moved, so I taped them to her head with this "bondage tape". It's not adhesive but clings to itself via static or something, so it's actually pretty cool, but keeping the earbuds on with it made it way too tight around her head. So I nixed that idea. Oh, plus it was through fucking Pandora so the hot "I'M GONNA PLEASURE THE BEJEEZUS OUT OF YOU IN A MOST DANGEROUS MANNER, MADAM" music was punctuated by extremely loud commercials.
While this was going on, the rope started irritating her skin, but I tediously retied everything instead of not using it because I thought the knots were just too tight. At this point my boner was listing but I could still salvage the situation.
So we don't need the headphones, I'll just turn the lights off and put the TV on.
"Is that Grey's Anatomy?"
Oh my god.
Whatever, I've got this. I have...an idea.
I GENTLY ran a machete along her skin. We totally have a machete under the bed. For reasons.
She's not ticklish, but this was her moment to be. So she's now violently and involuntarily thrusting her body towards the fuckoff-huge knife I'm holding. I toss it aside before this turns into a murder scene.

Could I loosen the rope here? And there?
The blindfold is killing her. Plus the lack of vision is making the TV REALLY distracting. And this is on a person who gets distracted and trails off in the middle of sentences. Why did I think this would work?!
Ok.
No more blindfold. No ropes. Just give me a minute, the ratchet straps are fighting me.
But we've still got this. Because we're the dream team.
Things are actually still going ok. Just in a different direction than intended. And that's ok.
Then, the vibrator died. And with it, all traces of sensuality. My boner is dead. Love is dead. God is dead. I wish I was dead. Neither of us can do this. Let's just watch TV tonight.

The end.

[$harkToootth]

That was wonderful! Thank you for sharing!
I could never get into bondage/bondage porn because of that. Too many moving parts. It all seems too needy for me.
I think learning to tie knots is a lost skill...but not for that.

[imJonWain]

did you save the receipt at least?

[Iommic Pope]

Damn Achtane.
You did your best man.
Romance is hard, dude.

[codetocontra]

Story delivered. Thanks.

[$harkToootth]

I want more Achtane sex stories. I don't care how that sounds.

[JonnyAngle]

One night, the gf won $100 on a scratcher ticket, so instead of doing something foolish like saving it, we blew it all in an emporium of expensive weighted motors and fake dongs. Oh, plus I bought ratcheting tie-downs because I thought it would be amusing and the sound could be a turn-on.

It turned out that they weren't long enough to be run under the bed like I wanted. So she'd have to be in a very specific location. Whatever, it'll work.
The blindfold we got was weirdly too tight and acted more like a migraine inducing torture device.
The belt-like cuffs were cheaply made and didn't tighten enough to be convincing. We improvised with a rope made of material that, as we later discovered, she's allergic to!

Anyway, I thought it'd be cool to make her wear headphones and run some, like, harsh industrial music through em to drown out any outside sound. I couldn't find anything besides earbuds, which kept falling out when she moved, so I taped them to her head with this "bondage tape". It's not adhesive but clings to itself via static or something, so it's actually pretty cool, but keeping the earbuds on with it made it way too tight around her head. So I nixed that idea. Oh, plus it was through fucking Pandora so the hot "I'M GONNA PLEASURE THE BEJEEZUS OUT OF YOU IN A MOST DANGEROUS MANNER, MADAM" music was punctuated by extremely loud commercials.
While this was going on, the rope started irritating her skin, but I tediously retied everything instead of not using it because I thought the knots were just too tight. At this point my boner was listing but I could still salvage the situation.
So we don't need the headphones, I'll just turn the lights off and put the TV on.
"Is that Grey's Anatomy?"
Oh my god.
Whatever, I've got this. I have...an idea.
I GENTLY ran a machete along her skin. We totally have a machete under the bed. For reasons.
She's not ticklish, but this was her moment to be. So she's now violently and involuntarily thrusting her body towards the fuckoff-huge knife I'm holding. I toss it aside before this turns into a murder scene.

Could I loosen the rope here? And there?
The blindfold is killing her. Plus the lack of vision is making the TV REALLY distracting. And this is on a person who gets distracted and trails off in the middle of sentences. Why did I think this would work?!
Ok.
No more blindfold. No ropes. Just give me a minute, the ratchet straps are fighting me.
But we've still got this. Because we're the dream team.
Things are actually still going ok. Just in a different direction than intended. And that's ok.
Then, the vibrator died. And with it, all traces of sensuality. My boner is dead. Love is dead. God is dead. I wish I was dead. Neither of us can do this. Let's just watch TV tonight.

The end.

This sounds like it should be a scene in a movie

[codetocontra]

Dark comedy amateur vidz could be a new genre.

[imJonWain]

This needs bumps! Any good stories? is neon off the grid?

I ran into a regular from the bar I worked at like 8 years ago and we are supposed to get drinks soon.

[$harkToootth]

I got nuff'in but rest assured! If anything humiliating happens to me in the near future...this will be the first place I update.

[neonblack]

I'm back. I've just had nothing interesting happen to my genitals since I last updated.

[codetocontra]

Here to doubt the genital statistic.

[jrfox92]

I'm back. My dick's been on hiatus since I last updated.

[Invisible Man]

Here to doubt the genital statistic.