My friends headstone and passing away



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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Jwar » Sun Sep 10, 2017 11:02 pm

Thanks guys. I just hope his dad is willing. He read my message on Facebook but I'm sure it's going to take some time to digest.
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Pepe » Mon Sep 11, 2017 2:36 am

I have no words. :|:
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby oldangelmidnight » Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:25 pm

That is bleak. I didn't even know there were places like that.
If it was me, I'd bring the headstone home and put it in a place I could see it. Those bones are not your friend.
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby codetocontra » Mon Sep 11, 2017 2:27 pm

That is a fair point. Jwar's heart is in the right place though. I think he has already gone above and beyond for an old friend, especially after parting ways. He's done way more than I would have done.
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby JonnyAngle » Mon Sep 11, 2017 5:58 pm

jwar wrote:This cemetery is owned by the county and it's a African American cemetery for people who and I quote "are not cared about any longer or have no family". That's what the man who runs the place told me. A Native American man who was very kind even when I was angry and expressing how hurt I am that anyone would be buried here.


That is fucking brutal.

I don't know what else to say...
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby MechaGodzilla » Mon Sep 11, 2017 6:47 pm

"not cared about any longer"

Good on you for proving them wrong. It sucks that you're having to fight for some peace for you and the memory of your friend.
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Jwar » Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:30 pm

oldangelmidnight wrote:That is bleak. I didn't even know there were places like that.
If it was me, I'd bring the headstone home and put it in a place I could see it. Those bones are not your friend.


This is very true. I totally agree, but in a way, I also think I have to do it. You know? I feel as if it's my job now and I've been selected by a higher power to do this. I know that not all of you guys believe in God, and that's ok, I do and I feel like he wants me to do this.

I'd post his fathers response here, but I don't want to have a breach in trust with him, so I'll summarize.


I contacted him the other day about having his son moved. I told him that I think it's the right thing to do and that I wouldn't feel at peace with Tyson passing unless there was something that could be done. I'm cutting it WAY down here, so just bear with me.

It took him almost 24 hours to get back to me but he did. His reaction actually made me cry. Not only was he grateful, but he was thrilled. He told me that when Tyson passed, they didn't know what to do. He said that it all happened and that he didn't have life insurance or anything for him and they couldn't afford to do a proper burial and that leaving his son in that place was the most horrible thing he's ever experienced.

He thanked me and accepted my offer telling me that his wife and Tyson's brothers were so happy and grateful for me and what I've done for their family and deceased loved one.

So now it's going to happen. I have contacted a funeral home in the area and they are getting all the information needed to make this move happen. There are a few pretty big hang ups though. One is that the city of Manor and Travis County in general is run by a bunch of dumbasses. So, it's extremely hard to get ahold of anyone that can get shit accomplished there. So, I told the funeral home to start with the one that handled his service and burial. Hopefully they can get the process rolling.

The other biggest hang up is money. Of course. Now a headstone, while expensive was not this kind of expensive. The funeral home told me it probably will cost around 10k. That's 10 thousand dollars. I don't have that kind of cash laying around obviously. I do have an equity line on my home that I can pull from, but I'm not sure about that either. So, I'm thinking of starting a Go Fund Me or a Paypal Me or something to that affect. I'd really, really appreciate guidance on this if anyone has done this kind of thing before. I think it will be easy to partially fund, but who knows. I may not raise anything. I'd just ask his old friends but those guys suck.

So, that's where I'm at right now. I'm happy this is something that could have a semi happy ending in regards to his bones being laid to rest in a nice place where friends and family can visit. I wish I could have seen him before he died. Just so I could have told him that I love him and I'm sorry we drifted apart. I'll tell him one day if we meet again in the next life.
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-JWAR :)
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby JonnyAngle » Tue Sep 12, 2017 4:24 pm

jwar wrote:
oldangelmidnight wrote:That is bleak. I didn't even know there were places like that.
If it was me, I'd bring the headstone home and put it in a place I could see it. Those bones are not your friend.


This is very true. I totally agree, but in a way, I also think I have to do it. You know? I feel as if it's my job now and I've been selected by a higher power to do this. I know that not all of you guys believe in God, and that's ok, I do and I feel like he wants me to do this.

I'd post his fathers response here, but I don't want to have a breach in trust with him, so I'll summarize.


I contacted him the other day about having his son moved. I told him that I think it's the right thing to do and that I wouldn't feel at peace with Tyson passing unless there was something that could be done. I'm cutting it WAY down here, so just bear with me.

It took him almost 24 hours to get back to me but he did. His reaction actually made me cry. Not only was he grateful, but he was thrilled. He told me that when Tyson passed, they didn't know what to do. He said that it all happened and that he didn't have life insurance or anything for him and they couldn't afford to do a proper burial and that leaving his son in that place was the most horrible thing he's ever experienced.

He thanked me and accepted my offer telling me that his wife and Tyson's brothers were so happy and grateful for me and what I've done for their family and deceased loved one.

So now it's going to happen. I have contacted a funeral home in the area and they are getting all the information needed to make this move happen. There are a few pretty big hang ups though. One is that the city of Manor and Travis County in general is run by a bunch of dumbasses. So, it's extremely hard to get ahold of anyone that can get shit accomplished there. So, I told the funeral home to start with the one that handled his service and burial. Hopefully they can get the process rolling.

The other biggest hang up is money. Of course. Now a headstone, while expensive was not this kind of expensive. The funeral home told me it probably will cost around 10k. That's 10 thousand dollars. I don't have that kind of cash laying around obviously. I do have an equity line on my home that I can pull from, but I'm not sure about that either. So, I'm thinking of starting a Go Fund Me or a Paypal Me or something to that affect. I'd really, really appreciate guidance on this if anyone has done this kind of thing before. I think it will be easy to partially fund, but who knows. I may not raise anything. I'd just ask his old friends but those guys suck.

So, that's where I'm at right now. I'm happy this is something that could have a semi happy ending in regards to his bones being laid to rest in a nice place where friends and family can visit. I wish I could have seen him before he died. Just so I could have told him that I love him and I'm sorry we drifted apart. I'll tell him one day if we meet again in the next life.

Is it possible to have him cremated? It's a lot easier to move, and not so much red tape (I assume)
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby D.o.S. » Tue Sep 12, 2017 4:27 pm

:hug:
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby UglyCasanova » Tue Sep 12, 2017 4:31 pm

Good on you, man. I don't believe in god or an afterlife or whatever, but I do believe in the power of good deeds that help serve those still alive. Sounds like you did just that. Best of luck to you!
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Eivind August » Thu Sep 14, 2017 10:20 am

That is awful, Adam, it is amazing to see you work through this. :hug:

I'll obviously help in any way I can, so keep us posted.
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby resincum » Thu Sep 14, 2017 3:05 pm

you're a great person, adam. it's empowering knowing people like you exist.
i'm glad i can call you a friend. even if i'll never see you again
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Jwar » Thu Sep 14, 2017 8:37 pm

Thanks so much guys. I'm just trying to do what I think is right you know?

Re-cremation. Yes it would be much cheaper but I'd have to get authorization from the family, which I'm not sure how to approach that subject you know? It'd be super hard to ask them if they'd allow me to do that.

Right now I'm just waiting and seeing what it's going to actually cost. I should know Monday. The money kind scares me but at the same time, it's just money.
"I do not have the ability to think rationally 90% of the time and I also change my mind at the drop of a hat".

-JWAR :)
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Jwar » Sat Sep 16, 2017 12:47 am

Does anyone have any suggestions on things like Go Fund Me? I feel bad asking that way or at all, but I don't think I'll be able to afford this otherwise. I have enough equity to do it, but it's going to take me a LONG time to pay it off. So, would doing a Go Fund Me or something similar be inappropriate? Has anyone here ever done one successfully? I feel like this is a great cause, but I don't know what others will think.
"I do not have the ability to think rationally 90% of the time and I also change my mind at the drop of a hat".

-JWAR :)
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby The Mad Owl » Sat Sep 16, 2017 11:25 am

Just caught up on this now.

Jwar, we don't know each other very well, but I wanted to give you some huge hugs.
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