For those that don't know, I lost a friend and did not even know it. He and I had a falling out after I quit drinking, so we lost contact. I hadn't seen him in 7 or 8 years. Who knows, maybe longer.
I was reminiscing about him with my cousin over a weekend camping trip and then got home and something else made him pop into my head. So I decided to look at his Facebook. He's had a Facebook for years, but I never friend requested him because of our fall out. Really it was one sided. I had to stop being around him because he wouldn't stop drinking/using despite me taking him to rehab 5 or more times. Anyway, upon looking at his Facebook, I was absolutely shattered to discover that he had passed away at 36. I just could not believe it.
The worst part of the whole thing to me is that we knew a lot of the same people and I was just a message away on Facebook. He had been in the hospital for over 3 months dying (found that out from his burial case worker). So, I find out he passes away and start doing digging. I found out that instead of honoring him by going to his fucking funeral or helping pay for it, or I dunno, getting him a grave marker, his friends had a big ass party in his honor. Like that's how he needs to be remembered. Through drugs and alcohol. Fucking ridiculous. None of them went to his funeral either that I know of and I even talked to the funeral director in Manor, TX. He said 3 people were there. Tyson's dad, his step mom, and his cousin (who lives in Manor apparently).
Anyway, I'm pretty fucking pissed off at his friends. Especially the ones that knew how much I loved him and were too fucking stupid to even think of telling me. I mean come on. Whatever fuck them.
A little background on Tyson. He was the most kind and generous man I'd ever known, but addiction took a strangle hold of him. He started stealing, and doing bad shit to get booze. He was in a really bad way. When he was 13, his parents abandoned him and he was put into the group home system. There he did well, but was broken by what he had been through and by the fact that his family wanted nothing to do with him. His mother (now deceased) was a white woman who had sex with his father (a black man) and resented him for existing. I know this for a fact because she out right said so and on occasion even called him the N word. Her own son. That aside, Tyson struggled his ENTIRE life. He lived with a friend during high school after he was able to get out of the group home system and then lived with me on 4 separate occasions after trying to get his shit together.
I was friends with Tyson from the age of 16 until I was 27-28, but I never stopped loving him as a friend and I prayed for him all the time and thought about him all the time. I just didn't know what to do for him. The booze eventually pushed him on the streets, and by the time I found out about that he was train hopping and on the move. He ended up in jail for beating a guy half to death, but he did it to defend a girl who was being raped. He was eventually let out, but I'm not sure when honestly. I think it was several months after his initial arrest. Then he was arrested again two years ago for being on a train illegally (train hopping). So needless to say he had a hard life especially in his last years.
What I remember of Tyson. He was a funny guy who had a great heart. He was my best friend and I'd hang out with him literally everyday during high school. Then as adults, we did the same thing for a long long time. We did lots of bad shit together, but he and I both had/have good hearts. We mostly just did drugs and drank together. When we weren't doing that crap though, we were having a blast laughing, playing video games, talking, and just being great friends. He introduced me to many of the bands and artists I listen to today including Kool Keith, MF Doom, El P, Muse, DJ Shadow and about a thousand others ranging from heavy metal to hiphop and dj music. He was in my wedding, he was the godfather of my first born, he was the person who saved me from having a criminal recording by taking the fall for my weed when I was 17...he was just an all around cool person.
So, I met with the monument company today. I had trouble doing this stuff online, it's just hard for me. I couldn't get over what I need to so I could proceed forward. After meeting with them, I feel a sense of calm and happiness. We decided on several different things and I got a mock up.
While I was there I had trouble thinking of stuff to do. I'm getting him a black granite laser engraved marker. So what it will have is a record player (turn table) encompassing most of the stone with him name, a message that I wrote and his date of death. I'm sitting there thinking, what else can I do. I could do his picture, but I don't have any good quality ones. His dad is there, but I don't really want to talk to him. I mean, the dude didn't even pitch in on his own sons funeral or headstone. I dunno. Maybe he's so broke he just can't do it. I don't know his situation, but it irritates me.
So I'm sitting there trying to figure out something else and it pops right into my head. I'm grinning and laugh. I tell the lady and she thought it was funny too. Tyson and I are both weirdos and we used to drive around a lot. While we were driving we'd sing the fucking song Ironic by Alanis Morrissette. So thought, I've got to do something with that in it! Musical notation of the song but one specific part. When she sings "who would have thought, it figures". He used to sing that line and sing "it figures" over and over again in different ways, each time more annoying than the last. We'd laugh our asses off and go about our business. It was a funny thing he did that made me think of him in his better days and I think if he could see it, he'd be laughing about me doing this. I told my brother about it and he was like 15 or so when Tyson and I stopped talking and he even remember it vividly. haha
So that's it. I think it's going to look killer.
I couldn't have even attempted to do this without you guys though. You all have helped me more times than I can count but this one really touches my heart.
With your generosity, I was able to get this started and then in 4-6 weeks (maybe sooner), I'll be heading down to Manor, TX to place this and say good bye to my old friend.
I'll post pictures when the stone is done and also when I place it if anyone wants to see it.
Also, if anyone is good with musical notation...hit me up. I have the notation, but I need to make it more manageable for laser engraving. I can do the Photoshop stuff, but I just don't want to screw this up.
Anyway, love you guys as always.
))
