They wanted to make it big. Travel, play gigs all the time. I don't really need or want that. I like the occasional gig, but it's really all about having fun for me. Music is my hobby. It was really that simple.Disarm D'arcy wrote:Amber clouds was it? I remember wondering why you stopped playing with them, I like that dreamy new wave.
The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread...
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- UglyCasanova
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
iRerror:
http://irerror.bandcamp.com
http://irerror.bandcamp.com
- Disarm D'arcy
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Understandable. Have quit bands for the exact same reason in the past 
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- waltdogg
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
stuck at work for 6 more hours. fucking fall back bullshit.
D.o.S. wrote:Why do people eat steak that shit is gross
behndy wrote: lol. she thinks Brazil is wayyyy too unsafe. but i got PLANS.
MechaGodzilla wrote:man, fuck those big neutrik plugs
- neonblack
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
I fucked up bad marriage-wise. Like really bad. Things blew up at the beginning of summer, then the long slow dread of uncertainty, followed by an even bigger blow up at the end of summer.
Then, I thought things were getting better. I saw hope. Then came the depression. Both of us, but her worse than me I think.
Now I'm feeling pretty pessimistic. Not sure if this is able to be fixed. I may have fucked this up beyond all repair. I might have to watch everything I love fall apart right in front of me. I feel like she doesn't ever want to be around me now. I feel like I'm holding her and our son back from a normal, happy life. I don't want to fuck them up any worse but I can't stand the thought of having to go on without them in my life. I feel worse than I have ever felt in my life. I've failed as a father, a husband, and a human being.
If you ever want to find out exactly how much you're capable of hurting someone, marry them and never deal with any of your personal issues ever, until they explode and ruin both your lives.
I'll probably delete this in the morning. Just needed to get it off my chest.
Then, I thought things were getting better. I saw hope. Then came the depression. Both of us, but her worse than me I think.
Now I'm feeling pretty pessimistic. Not sure if this is able to be fixed. I may have fucked this up beyond all repair. I might have to watch everything I love fall apart right in front of me. I feel like she doesn't ever want to be around me now. I feel like I'm holding her and our son back from a normal, happy life. I don't want to fuck them up any worse but I can't stand the thought of having to go on without them in my life. I feel worse than I have ever felt in my life. I've failed as a father, a husband, and a human being.
If you ever want to find out exactly how much you're capable of hurting someone, marry them and never deal with any of your personal issues ever, until they explode and ruin both your lives.
I'll probably delete this in the morning. Just needed to get it off my chest.
- Eivind August
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Fell free to reach out, man.
https://irerror.bandcamp.com/
Deals:friendship wrote:You motherfuckers think I won't fuck up a couple octoroks and assemble the Triforce?
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- neonblack
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
She just told me she's leaving me. I don't know what I'm going to do. I want to die.
- resincum
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
stay strong homie.. it's not the end. 
i'm glad i can call you a friend. even if i'll never see you again


- Disarm D'arcy
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Hang in there man. Reach out if you feel the need to 
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
I am so sorry, Neon. Wishing you peace and healing. If you need to talk, I am here.
- neonblack
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Thanks everyone. I don't know what to do right now. I don't know if this is permanent. I just know I'm feeling extremely hopeless right now. Once she leaves town, there's nothing left for me here. I don't know if I should follow her and try to start over there or stay here and just work constantly, or do something crazy and pack up and leave too. I do have a stable place to live, but she and my son are the only things that make that house tolerable. Otherwise it's just me and the old man, and we don't exactly get along great. But I owe him all kinds of money so it's kind of a weird situation.
I'm seriously thinking some kind of big life change wouldn't be bad for me.
Maybe I could move to Eau Claire and build fuzz and let the lakes and snow calm my fiery heart. Or like, Alaskan crab fishing or something. I just want to disappear.
I'm seriously thinking some kind of big life change wouldn't be bad for me.
Maybe I could move to Eau Claire and build fuzz and let the lakes and snow calm my fiery heart. Or like, Alaskan crab fishing or something. I just want to disappear.
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
neonblack wrote:
Maybe I could move to Eau Claire and build fuzz and let the lakes and snow calm my fiery heart.
…...........................…psychic vampire. wrote:The important take away from this thread: Taoism and Ring Modulators go together?
Sweet dealin's: here
"Now, of course, Strega is not a Minimoog… and I am not Sun Ra" - dude from MAKENOISE
#GreenRinger
- D.o.S.
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
resincum wrote:stay strong homie.. it's not the end.
Disarm D'arcy wrote:Hang in there man. Reach out if you feel the need to
^^^
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odontophobia
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
for real. shoot me a text today or tomorrow if you just want to shoot the breeze.D.o.S. wrote:resincum wrote:stay strong homie.. it's not the end.Disarm D'arcy wrote:Hang in there man. Reach out if you feel the need to
^^^
maybe things get a little uncomfortable and fucky for a few days but they might right themselves okay in the end.
not easy to stay positive, i know, but getting it off your chest might make you feel a bit better.
- 01010111
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
Seriously, don't hesitate to reach out if you need toD.o.S. wrote:resincum wrote:stay strong homie.. it's not the end.Disarm D'arcy wrote:Hang in there man. Reach out if you feel the need to
^^^
- Lurker13
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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread
I'm so sorry, and sorry for not seeing this sooner. My deepest sympathies.Eivind August wrote:My mother passed away on tuesday. In a way, it was good since she was heavily reduced by the cancer the last few weeks, but obviously it also sucks. So yeah. As mentioned, I'm not super comfortable about posting personal stuff on here, but since ILFriends are IRLfriends, yeah. Fuck cancer.
Oh, and I've got the SS stuff sorted, so I still have ILFmas to look forward to.
coldbrightsunlight wrote:Hey man, you can do what you want in this den of shame.