Quote your favorite posts of ILF

[Disarm D'arcy]

Inspired by our resident velociraptor

[goroth]

This is it.
In posts that are not the subject of banhammerage, the fbi or chummy behaviour, this is the pinnacle.
It does not get better.

Thank you Nad, thank you.

And now to expand a little further, before I get utterly trashed in a haze of booze and drug tonight. Fuck sense, I'm too old for that shit.

I didn't even know the album was released until a friend at work said "dude, you dig the new Sleep?" At that moment I vowed to procure it as quickly as possible. It arrived a week later from a cool record store up north around 4pm on Friday. So I went home, opened a beer, spun the first half, smoked a bowl, and then completed the second half. That was quite enjoyable. Sounds like Sleep. Somewhere between more accessible than Dopesmoker but not as varied as Holy Mountain. That's fine, what did I want anyhow? Good heavy rock. Mission Accomplished.

So the next morning, being Saturday, I got up early to disappear into the woods for the day. Fuck sleeping in, I'm too old for that shit. I grabbed a handful of CDs, some maps, a bit of food + water, and ventured up the highway to get lost for a spell. I started off with The Sciences and don't recall what else I brought with me, because when the album ended I just let it loop back and start anew. Again. And again. And again. And probably 3 more times after that. I only broke up the tunes with some random hikes and staring at the last bits of snow on Old Greyback.

Go to nature. Praise Hicks.

[Disarm D'arcy]

Dick Hyman.

I believe you misspelled 'hymen.'

Oh maybe you were talking about someone who is not you.

No, I spelled it right. Dick Hyman was a very famous (on the underground) pianist who wrote some of the earliest music for Moog synths. And yes, his 50 year old stuff kicks ass compared to the soy boys doing "ambient drone experimental postshoegoth" or whatever the fuck you call it nowadays.

[D.o.S.]

feel free to build one for us then

You just don't get it do you? You can't ask someone to build you this. This is a mans masterpiece.
If you had been paying attention you would have noticed an emerging new kind of pedal.
Through the duck tape, booby traps and chaos you would have glimpsed the true nature behind John Schumann's original design.
This is the very pedal that caused him to give up building after completing only a few units.
Years ago, I remember hearing a customer sent his Pll back for repair and after 3 months of waiting received an unusual email.
I am not lying when I tell you this. It was revealed that Schumann, who had never kept a Pll for himself, had over the
years forgotten the design and fell in love with the customers pedal, attempting to run off with it.

This is not the mark of a regular builder. You see, I've encountered few pedals like this.
Each pedal is a meticulous labor of love. It's eccentric genius cannot be held to the same standard as a regular boutique.
It is the pinnacle of unobtainium. A boutique boutique where the builder has poured his very soul into what he is creating to
the point it transcends itself and becomes art. This is the shit legends are made of.

You do not understand what's happening. To simply have someone else build you one is an insult to this mans art.
If you don't appreciate it enough build your own interpretation then you do not understand what is it, you cannot comprehend what you
are playing and you don't deserve it.

[coupleonapkins]

With apologies to anyone that may be living or dead or imaginary or actually on another forum:

I don't quite get all the fuss. A company lays off some designers. Happens all the time. Said designers keep on saying it had nothing to do with their performance and it seems just a business related decision. Now y'all are gonna boycott DOD? Let's get a grip. Would these guys over at DOD, as nice and helpful as they seem to be, give a crap if you got laid off. Or give enough of a crap to start an internet thread about the injustice of it all? Probably not. DOD/HArmon or whatever they're called probably know a lot more about their business model and future sales opportunities than most of us here. Plus, it's clear that we've reached "peak pedal" and that it's only downhill from here. Don't believe me, talk to Ryan over at Fuzzrocious about the current state of the market then.

[D.o.S.]

Can someone, please, troll him on social media by calling him "Phil And Elmo"?

Tickle me Anselmo?

[jrfox92]

$10 half this thread will be Manny quotes.

Also, I guess this is what happened after they deleted the other thread with that great "I'm a prominent member of the internet" quote?

[D.o.S.]

Manny's not even top 25

[D.o.S.]

this story got me banned from another forum when i posted it in their confessional. Time to see what youre made of ILF.

So this one time I was at a party and there was a girl there in a wheelchair. She was cute and it looked like her body was perfectly normal, like her legs werent all fucked up or tiny or anything like youd think they may appear to be if she was a paraplegic (i dont know why i have this misconception, it probably comes from seeing my first tiny-legged person in a walgreens when i was like 4 or 5). Well, there was a fair amount of whiskey consumed and i started to get that craving about me. For the girl in the wheelchair. Thats right....theres was just something so fucking sexy about her inability to walk and i couldnt resist...So i start chatting her up and she suggests we take our convo to somewhere a little more quiet. We end up in the poolhouse where she immediately goes for my belt. Three people walked in on me getting blown by a girl i would later find out was, in fact, a paraplegic. Shit was a gruesome scene too, i had one leg out of my jeans and on one of the armrests of her wheelchair practically face fucking this girl and gibbering on about her being a dirty bitch...Ive lost alot of friends over that night and to tell you the truth i have no fucking idea why. Am i really an asshole for getting dome from a cripple? Id certainly like to think not. Id like to think that the handicapped have just as much right (providing, of course they are attractive) to put their mouths on my unmentionables as fully capable and in no way impaired wom en do. In fact i like to think of myself as a crusader for their civil rights. Fighting the good fight and all that.

&c.

[coupleonapkins]

Manny's not even top 25

TGP is good but ILF is the best.


ILF is for the children!

[nogodsnobedtimes]

$10 half this thread will be Manny quotes.

Also, I guess this is what happened after they deleted the other thread with that great "I'm a prominent member of the internet" quote?

I really wanted to use that one but it's gone now

[Inconuucl]

Allumsayin... my Monster cables have gold on them. GOLD my niggas. Look who's laughing in the Apocalypse when the dollar is worthless. I will be trading my cables for your wives' virtues and your children's meat. Also the angels will recognize me as a chosen one.

[UglyCasanova]

Brah

viewtopic.php?f=42&t=58367