Soccer Coaching / Youth Sports Discussion

[gnomethrone]

You need to establish dominance. Take a big swig off your highball glass, flick your cigarette butt at that parent's chest and just stare 'em in the eyes. Are you yelling at the refs and waving your arms enough?

[hbombgraphics]

You need to establish dominance. Take a big swig off your highball glass, flick your cigarette butt at that parent's chest and just stare 'em in the eyes. Are you yelling at the refs and waving your arms enough?

This is great advice.

WWDDD?

What would Don Draper Do?

I don't think I am yelling at the refs enough, but I did raise my hand for an offsides and the center judge called it, which I thought was cool

[gnomethrone]

Serious tho, the only youth soccer coach I remember is this one guy who pushed us really hard while still being funny and kind. That team made it to regional playoffs and then got crushed but we still had fun. I threw away every participation trophy I ever got immediately because they were meaningless but I still have the little enamel soccer ball pin from that year.

[fuzzonaut]

Been coaching club soccer at the youth level for about 2-3 years now and coached locally before that. Currently coach U14B and we are practicing for spring outdoor leagues.

Was approached by a parent last night who was concerned that his son might quit because he doesn't like being made to run. Specifically he doesn't like when the entire group is made to run because one kid is misbehaving.

How this unfolded last night was as follows. We had 15 min for a scrimmage at the end of practice, teams were divided quickly as we had already sorted players to work on set pieces. I placed the ball in the center and was about to start the scrimmage when I noticed 1 player was riding around on his teammates back. Immediately I had everyone run sprints, nothing major just one set and then back to the game. Was then approached by this dad after practice because I shouldn't punish the whole team when some kids are goofing off. I did apologize but pointed out that we didn't do end of practice sprints, which we would have. I think I said "running was inevitable but I could see how this would be viewed as poorly timed" I know that's a shit apology. Should be noted his son is about a year behind the other kids his age and always dead last by a large margin in running drills.

Question as follows:

Should you punish the entire team when a few kids misbehave?

My logic is as follows.
1. This encourages kids to discipline themselves a bit, maybe next time one kid is on someone's back I won't have to do anything because the other players will tell them to cut it out.
2. This is how life works, if you do dumb stuff it impacts the people around you. At some point you have to learn this.
3. Club soccer isn't free, parents pay club fees, practice fees, league fees and purchase uniforms and equipment. If anyone should be pissed that practice is being disrupted it should be the people who invest so much in a sport for their kids.


Appreciate anyone's thoughts on any of the above.

I don't think "group punishment" does any good. It doesn't help the team spirit, kids just get angry at each other. Besides, this is not the army, soccer is a game that should be fun, especially at this age.
If two of them think it's funny to do the piggy-back thing, why not roll with it and make them play the scrimmage this way? That might teach them (and the others) and everybody has a laugh.

And for the kid who doesn't like to run: that's pretty funny he's even there, running is elemental to soccer, unless you're the goalkeeper.
So, next time there's running, put him into the goal and hammer one million super hard shots his way ... he might like running better afterwards.

Good luck .... and don't go modular!

[hbombgraphics]

Been coaching club soccer at the youth level for about 2-3 years now and coached locally before that. Currently coach U14B and we are practicing for spring outdoor leagues.

Was approached by a parent last night who was concerned that his son might quit because he doesn't like being made to run. Specifically he doesn't like when the entire group is made to run because one kid is misbehaving.

How this unfolded last night was as follows. We had 15 min for a scrimmage at the end of practice, teams were divided quickly as we had already sorted players to work on set pieces. I placed the ball in the center and was about to start the scrimmage when I noticed 1 player was riding around on his teammates back. Immediately I had everyone run sprints, nothing major just one set and then back to the game. Was then approached by this dad after practice because I shouldn't punish the whole team when some kids are goofing off. I did apologize but pointed out that we didn't do end of practice sprints, which we would have. I think I said "running was inevitable but I could see how this would be viewed as poorly timed" I know that's a shit apology. Should be noted his son is about a year behind the other kids his age and always dead last by a large margin in running drills.

Question as follows:

Should you punish the entire team when a few kids misbehave?

My logic is as follows.
1. This encourages kids to discipline themselves a bit, maybe next time one kid is on someone's back I won't have to do anything because the other players will tell them to cut it out.
2. This is how life works, if you do dumb stuff it impacts the people around you. At some point you have to learn this.
3. Club soccer isn't free, parents pay club fees, practice fees, league fees and purchase uniforms and equipment. If anyone should be pissed that practice is being disrupted it should be the people who invest so much in a sport for their kids.


Appreciate anyone's thoughts on any of the above.

I don't think "group punishment" does any good. It doesn't help the team spirit, kids just get angry at each other. Besides, this is not the army, soccer is a game that should be fun, especially at this age.
If two of them think it's funny to do the piggy-back thing, why not roll with it and make them play the scrimmage this way? That might teach them (and the others) and everybody has a laugh.

And for the kid who doesn't like to run: that's pretty funny he's even there, running is elemental to soccer, unless you're the goalkeeper.
So, next time there's running, put him into the goal and hammer one million super hard shots his way ... he might like running better afterwards.

Good luck .... and don't go modular!

Modular is the worst,

I thought about making them stay piggy back for the scrimmage but they are at an age where they just get silly and it keeps escalating.

[PanicProne]

Question as follows:

Should you punish the entire team when a few kids misbehave?

My logic is as follows.
1. This encourages kids to discipline themselves a bit, maybe next time one kid is on someone's back I won't have to do anything because the other players will tell them to cut it out.
2. This is how life works, if you do dumb stuff it impacts the people around you. At some point you have to learn this.
3. Club soccer isn't free, parents pay club fees, practice fees, league fees and purchase uniforms and equipment. If anyone should be pissed that practice is being disrupted it should be the people who invest so much in a sport for their kids.


Appreciate anyone's thoughts on any of the above.

So after quickly reading through the thread, here's my two cents. I'm absolutely no expert but have studied quite a bit of pedagogy/teaching, kids culture, worked with kids ages 6-13 for about ten ish years and currently studying within learning, teaching, group psychology etc at university. Again, I'm no expert, every situation,group and individual is unique, which is both the charm and curse, but at least I feel a have an opinion on the matter.

Number one rule. Science has again and again and again and again shown positive reinforcement and feedback to be more effective than negative. Always remember that. That doesn't mean "punishment" can't be effective. But positive confirmation/rewards is always more effective.

Punishing the whole group because of an indivduals actions is not a good idea. It affects the moral in a negative way, forcing those who behave to take part of a punishment when they've done nothing wrong. I can lead to group dividing itself in to smaller groups of "well behaved" and "not well behaved" which imo is negative. It'll create a hierarchy within the group which rather then have them fight for one another, fight against each other in the wrong way. This is not the same as "competition for places" imo. Another possible outcome is that it affects the groups view of you negatively. Sure, that might make them team up to prove you wrong, but also it very much means they'll see you as unfair, and who the hell want to play for a coach who isn't treating people fair?

Also, do you want the players to tell each other to cut it out? Or is that your role? Isn't it better for players to (most of the time) lead by example?

I say, if someone is misbehaving and you really need to put him/her in their place. Deal with that individual aside from the group. If you do it in front of the group or not doesn't really matter (which is the best here depends on the individual your dealing with) but either way I'm pretty sure the rest of them will find out about the punishment anyways. But yeah, feel this out. Have you tried ignoring it and then talking to the player after practice?

What had happened if you had ignored the players who started the scrimmage? Wouldn't the player just have jumped off his friends back and joined in on the play?

As far as the "parents are paying so they should be pissed"-thing. Leave that to the parents to decide. As someone mentioned. Maybe the kids don't really wanna be there themselves?

Hope this makes any sense.

[sears]

I love watching soccer but could never coach my kids. Props to you for coaching. What you did w/sprints is right. Did you see Biloxi Blues? Where the drill sergeant made everyone but the miscreant do extra exercises?

Participation trophies were part of growing up in the 70s and 80s. If there were no participation trophies, I'd'a got no trophies.

[hbombgraphics]

I love watching soccer but could never coach my kids. Props to you for coaching. What you did w/sprints is right. Did you see Biloxi Blues? Where the drill sergeant made everyone but the miscreant do extra exercises?

Participation trophies were part of growing up in the 70s and 80s. If there were no participation trophies, I'd'a got no trophies.

have not seen biloxi blues, will have to check it out.

I stopped coaching my daughter this year because they were covered plus she liked to talk to me during games (she's 8)

organizing all the kids for U14 is hard enough, right now I am scrambling for a few players for tomorrow because some of my kids are out of town.


making all the kids run made sense in the context that the two goofing off would have spiraled everyone into chaos the sprints they did actually took less time than it would have taken to calm them all down without running.

[Benn Roe]

making all the kids run made sense in the context that the two goofing off would have spiraled everyone into chaos the sprints they did actually took less time than it would have taken to calm them all down without running.

This is sensible reasoning, but to answer your original question, no, I don't think you should make a habit of punishing the whole team when one or two kids misbehave. If the quote above reflects your line of thinking in the original scenario, that's fine, but I certainly wouldn't frame it as "all right, everyone sprint because Tommy and Tina are ruining things for everybody" or anything. A few people above have already outlined the reasons not to do that far better than I could, but I always think back to my little league baseball experience, and how petty and punitive my first few coaches were. What quickly ensued each year was a team division where the more naturally talented kids resented the less athletic ones, and constantly gave us shit, and those of us who were less talented subsequently saw no improvement in our abilities. I was a permanent right-fielder (which may as well not exist in little league). Then one year, there was a new coach who didn't yell at anybody, who encouraged and worked with the kids who were struggling, and who had frank but friendly discussions to the side with people who misbehaved instead of lashing out at them. We went undefeated that year, and I'm still pretty good at baseball some 25 years later. Plus I actually became friends with my teammates that year, and everyone had a fun season.

All right, now get out there and show those little shits how to play some fucking soccer.

[PanicProne]

Last night I spent a lot of energy on my reply in this thread. Now I read it and realise I've left out words and forgot to put certain details in there. Note to self: don't write long replies when tired.

[BetterOffShred]

I love watching soccer but could never coach my kids. Props to you for coaching. What you did w/sprints is right. Did you see Biloxi Blues? Where the drill sergeant made everyone but the miscreant do extra exercises?

Participation trophies were part of growing up in the 70s and 80s. If there were no participation trophies, I'd'a got no trophies.

I grew up in the 80s and never got participation trophies.. I don't remember them being a thing until my cousins kids started getting them in the 2000's ..

I like the highball and cigar flicking idea

[hbombgraphics]

Last night I spent a lot of energy on my reply in this thread. Now I read it and realise I've left out words and forgot to put certain details in there. Note to self: don't write long replies when tired.

I got what you were saying and appreciate the insight, don't worry about editing, It's the internet, nobody does grammars good.

[hbombgraphics]

As an update to my OP, practices have been super chill the last few weeks and only scheduled running has taken place.

I should specify that the 2 kids were goofing off but everyone was unfocused and egging them on.

I do wonder though at one point in life do people learn that their actions impact other people? It seems like something that people may not be learning at all anymore.

[BetterOffShred]

Oh absolutely. Most kids have zero concept of cause and effect, particularly when it involves others.

Glad it's been going smoov

[Benn Roe]

I do wonder though at one point in life do people learn that their actions impact other people? It seems like something that people may not be learning at all anymore.

This is a fair concern, but kids are much more likely to learn this lesson from real cause-and-effect than forced illustrative punishment. If they're mean to their friend, their friend cries, and then they feel shitty too and have to unpack why. If they do something stupid and a coach or teacher or counselor or whatever consequently punishes the whole group, there's no clear causation for them to latch onto, and they're honestly pretty unlikely to take away any lesson; just feel unfairly treated.