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vidret wrote:Is burning the body, spreading the ashes somewhere nice and giving the money to charity/living who need it an alternative?

It’s a shame that someone’s death should cost their close ones, as if death itself wasn’t enough.

However this goes and whatever you choose I hope you’ll feel content about it, jwar.

Unfortunately that part isn't up to me. His father has say in that. If it were up to me, I would have him cremated and then moved to a grave. I would love to sprinkle his ashes in Japan as well. He loved Japanese movies, anime, robots and just everything about the place. He never got to go though. It would make him smile I'm sure.


As far as reaching my goal.

I'm realistic and am almost positive I won't. However, what I will do instead if I can't is try to make where he is a bit nicer. Get an in ground flower pot. Maybe something else nice. I dunno. I'll come up with something.

how do i donate?

dubkitty wrote:how do i donate?

https://www.gofundme.com/nrmjsd-help-me-lay-my-friend-to-rest

They don’t accept PayPal so you have to use a Credit or Debit card.

dubkitty wrote:how do i donate?

Yea for some reason it won't take Paypal, which I don't get.


If you are wanting to do that, I can also start a Paypal.me or whatever it is.


You guys are awesome btw.


Minor update.

I told his father about the Go Fund Me and now he's going to share it with his family.

Initially I did not as I thought it might embarrass him, but he's going to, so I'm happy. They can't offer much themselves, but want to chip in a few hundred bucks. I'm just happy to see him want to help. He seems like a good man and the times I met him he was extremely conflicted about his son. So maybe there's some stuff there that I never knew about. I know he loved his son though.

This campaign has been shared a ton.

One question.

Do you guys think it would look good if I donated my portion to Go Fund Me? Or maybe lowered the goal? I was wondering if it seemed a bit daunting.

Thanks!!

Adam

I'm new here and don't know JWAR, but glad to help if I can.

If you end up doing something that accepts PayPal I'll send $17 (drunken online shopping, bought a particular album that I already own - the site was kind enough to credit me back).

"nothing says tomorrow is a guarantee"

That's some good solid points Vid. I would love to sprinkle him in Japan like you're saying. I'd bet my last dollar his dad would never go for it, but maybe I can approach him with that idea.

I wish that it wasn't so expensive. Had I not have had to spend 30k + in the last six months, I'd be able to do it on my own. Fucking real estate killed me this year. Who knows, maybe I'll get a big return?

So after a lot of thought and prayer, I don't know that I'll ever be able to make this happen. Which raises the question, is there something else I can do? I have about $430 dollars folks donated. Should I refund everyone and move on? Should I do something else in his honor? Any thoughts here? I just am not sure I'll ever get the money together to make this realistic. I honestly didn't think it'd be that hard, but that's part of the issue. I didn't think. I used emotion rather than logic because I miss my friend and wish we had reconnected before he passed. I'd love some input if anyone is willing to offer it.

I'm sorry you couldn't make it work, buddy! I can only speak for myself, but giving the donations to a charity you think your friend would appreciate seems like a good way to honor him.

Charity is a good idea! I didn't even think of that one. Hmm.. I'll have to look into local ones. Thanks for that!

Ok, so after some investigating, I found a charity I think he would dig.

https://bandofangelskc.org/

It's a charity that is put on by a local music store actually, so kind of neat. I'm going to go in and actually talk to them and see what the best approach is (IE just money or an instrument). I'm assuming if I donate just money, they'd be able to spend it better than I, but you never know. I may be able to get a deal on a great instrument for them.

$430 could go quite a ways in putting together a shovel, a pickup, and zero-witnesses.

Good vibes and best of luck in honoring your pals memory Jwar.

holy necrobump.