My friends headstone and passing away



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My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Jesus Was a Robot » Wed Jun 21, 2017 3:48 pm

I figured I'd make this a separate thread than the one I had in the BST as I want to keep folks updated on what is happening for me and for his remembrance.

For those that don't know, I lost a friend and did not even know it. He and I had a falling out after I quit drinking, so we lost contact. I hadn't seen him in 7 or 8 years. Who knows, maybe longer. :( I was reminiscing about him with my cousin over a weekend camping trip and then got home and something else made him pop into my head. So I decided to look at his Facebook.

He's had a Facebook for years, but I never friend requested him because of our fall out. Really it was one sided. I had to stop being around him because he wouldn't stop drinking/using despite me taking him to rehab 5 or more times. Anyway, upon looking at his Facebook, I was absolutely shattered to discover that he had passed away at 36. I just could not believe it.

The worst part of the whole thing to me is that we knew a lot of the same people and I was just a message away on Facebook. He had been in the hospital for over 3 months dying (found that out from his burial case worker). So, I find out he passes away and start doing digging. I found out that instead of honoring him by going to his fucking funeral or helping pay for it, or I dunno, getting him a grave marker, his friends had a big ass party in his honor. Like that's how he needs to be remembered. Through drugs and alcohol. Fucking ridiculous. None of them went to his funeral either that I know of and I even talked to the funeral director in Manor, TX. He said 3 people were there. Tyson's dad, his step mom, and his cousin (who lives in Manor apparently).

Anyway, I'm pretty fucking pissed off at his friends. Especially the ones that knew how much I loved him and were too fucking stupid to even think of telling me. I mean come on. Whatever fuck them.

A little background on Tyson. He was the most kind and generous man I'd ever known, but addiction took a strangle hold of him. He started stealing, and doing bad shit to get booze. He was in a really bad way. When he was 13, his parents abandoned him and he was put into the group home system. There he did well, but was broken by what he had been through and by the fact that his family wanted nothing to do with him. His mother (now deceased) was a white woman who had sex with his father (a black man) and resented him for existing. I know this for a fact because she out right said so and on occasion even called him the N word. Her own son. That aside, Tyson struggled his ENTIRE life. He lived with a friend during high school after he was able to get out of the group home system and then lived with me on 4 separate occasions after trying to get his shit together.

I was friends with Tyson from the age of 16 until I was 27-28, but I never stopped loving him as a friend and I prayed for him all the time and thought about him all the time. I just didn't know what to do for him. The booze eventually pushed him on the streets, and by the time I found out about that he was train hopping and on the move. He ended up in jail for beating a guy half to death, but he did it to defend a girl who was being raped. He was eventually let out, but I'm not sure when honestly. I think it was several months after his initial arrest. Then he was arrested again two years ago for being on a train illegally (train hopping). So needless to say he had a hard life especially in his last years.

What I remember of Tyson. He was a funny guy who had a great heart. He was my best friend and I'd hang out with him literally everyday during high school. Then as adults, we did the same thing for a long long time. We did lots of bad shit together, but he and I both had/have good hearts. We mostly just did drugs and drank together. When we weren't doing that crap though, we were having a blast laughing, playing video games, talking, and just being great friends. He introduced me to many of the bands and artists I listen to today including Kool Keith, MF Doom, El P, Muse, DJ Shadow and about a thousand others ranging from heavy metal to hiphop and dj music. He was in my wedding, he was the godfather of my first born, he was the person who saved me from having a criminal recording by taking the fall for my weed when I was 17...he was just an all around cool person.

So, I met with the monument company today. I had trouble doing this stuff online, it's just hard for me. I couldn't get over what I need to so I could proceed forward. After meeting with them, I feel a sense of calm and happiness. We decided on several different things and I got a mock up.

While I was there I had trouble thinking of stuff to do. I'm getting him a black granite laser engraved marker. So what it will have is a record player (turn table) encompassing most of the stone with him name, a message that I wrote and his date of death. I'm sitting there thinking, what else can I do. I could do his picture, but I don't have any good quality ones. His dad is there, but I don't really want to talk to him. I mean, the dude didn't even pitch in on his own sons funeral or headstone. I dunno. Maybe he's so broke he just can't do it. I don't know his situation, but it irritates me.

So I'm sitting there trying to figure out something else and it pops right into my head. I'm grinning and laugh. I tell the lady and she thought it was funny too. Tyson and I are both weirdos and we used to drive around a lot. While we were driving we'd sing the fucking song Ironic by Alanis Morrissette. So thought, I've got to do something with that in it! Musical notation of the song but one specific part. When she sings "who would have thought, it figures". He used to sing that line and sing "it figures" over and over again in different ways, each time more annoying than the last. We'd laugh our asses off and go about our business. It was a funny thing he did that made me think of him in his better days and I think if he could see it, he'd be laughing about me doing this. I told my brother about it and he was like 15 or so when Tyson and I stopped talking and he even remember it vividly. haha

So that's it. I think it's going to look killer.

I couldn't have even attempted to do this without you guys though. You all have helped me more times than I can count but this one really touches my heart.

With your generosity, I was able to get this started and then in 4-6 weeks (maybe sooner), I'll be heading down to Manor, TX to place this and say good bye to my old friend.

I'll post pictures when the stone is done and also when I place it if anyone wants to see it.

Also, if anyone is good with musical notation...hit me up. I have the notation, but I need to make it more manageable for laser engraving. I can do the Photoshop stuff, but I just don't want to screw this up.

Anyway, love you guys as always.
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Eivind August » Wed Jun 21, 2017 6:01 pm

Dude, :hug:
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Jesus Was a Robot » Wed Jun 21, 2017 9:09 pm

Eivind August wrote:Dude, :hug:



Right back at you man! :hug: :hug: :hug:

Here's a mock up of what it will look like minus the music notes. Keep in mind the quality will be MUCH better on the record. This was just a mock up. Also I noticed an error on there. It should say met and not meet. It's a good thing that I get to be involved to the extent of fixing things though.
Image
"My boner"

-Jwar

"You may caress my harem of large velvety hammers any time".

- The Velvet Hammer

"#I'mwithJwar"

-D.O.S.

"Also this thread is now on page 2399, and the pt2399 is the most used delay chip for most dirty delays. Coincidence? therefore 9/11".

-multi_s

"The only thing I can muster after reading this thread:

Thanks Obama"

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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Chankgeez » Wed Jun 21, 2017 9:15 pm

There's a typo in that inscription there. "Meet" should be "met". :hug:
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby oldangelmidnight » Wed Jun 21, 2017 9:36 pm

I wonder what you think might have made the difference between your decisions to clean up and get your shit together and his circumstances that kept him from it. My parents were fuckups and I worry all the time that I might miss some essential thing that would help keep my kids from going that way when they get older.

I would laugh out loud in a cemetery if I saw on a gravestone:
"Who would have thought? It figures." -Alanis Morrisette

But here's this:
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby fcknoise » Thu Jun 22, 2017 10:59 am

Beautiful and sad story dude, I'm sorry. I have a similar friend (who is my god father, got baptized at 15 and chose myself) and we haven't spoken in a few years for more or less the same reasons. I wish you the best dude, I'm sure it'll look great :hug:
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Jesus Was a Robot » Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:38 am

Can anyone help me with the musical notation thing?? I asked a friend to verify it and cut it into Photoshop but now he's not answering me. Fucking ridiculous. This is too important for me to not get him on the phone and he has a tendency to avoid shit. UGH.
"My boner"

-Jwar

"You may caress my harem of large velvety hammers any time".

- The Velvet Hammer

"#I'mwithJwar"

-D.O.S.

"Also this thread is now on page 2399, and the pt2399 is the most used delay chip for most dirty delays. Coincidence? therefore 9/11".

-multi_s

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Thanks Obama"

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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby jrmy » Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:54 am

jwar wrote:Can anyone help me with the musical notation thing?? I asked a friend to verify it and cut it into Photoshop but now he's not answering me. Fucking ridiculous. This is too important for me to not get him on the phone and he has a tendency to avoid shit. UGH.


I can absolutely help. PM'ing now...
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Jesus Was a Robot » Tue Jun 27, 2017 12:15 pm

jrmy wrote:
jwar wrote:Can anyone help me with the musical notation thing?? I asked a friend to verify it and cut it into Photoshop but now he's not answering me. Fucking ridiculous. This is too important for me to not get him on the phone and he has a tendency to avoid shit. UGH.


I can absolutely help. PM'ing now...

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
"My boner"

-Jwar

"You may caress my harem of large velvety hammers any time".

- The Velvet Hammer

"#I'mwithJwar"

-D.O.S.

"Also this thread is now on page 2399, and the pt2399 is the most used delay chip for most dirty delays. Coincidence? therefore 9/11".

-multi_s

"The only thing I can muster after reading this thread:

Thanks Obama"

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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby vidret » Tue Jun 27, 2017 2:15 pm

sad story man, shame you didn't get in touch earlier, that feeling must suck.


hilarious idea, and i'm sure he would've appreciated it :)
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Jesus Was a Robot » Tue Jun 27, 2017 2:25 pm

vidret wrote:sad story man, shame you didn't get in touch earlier, that feeling must suck.


hilarious idea, and i'm sure he would've appreciated it :)


Thanks man! The feeling does suck, but I'm sure there's got to be some meaning behind it...at least I hold out hope that life has a hidden message there for me.

I think he would have loved the idea.

My plan is to play the song on a boom box (he always had a boom box with him) when I get to the cemetery.



I played the song the other day and actually listened to the words and it seemed like it was the first time I'd heard it. It actually made me cry, which was good as I needed to. He was someone who meant a lot to me even though I couldn't be around him near the end of his life.

I had another friend pass away in a similar fashion with the drug/alcohol abuse about 10-15 years ago...I actually can't remember. He was murdered though and it fucks me up still from time to time. I think about him all the time as well because I had to stop hanging around him because he was just into all kinds of bad shit.

Lost souls man. I hope they found their peace.
"My boner"

-Jwar

"You may caress my harem of large velvety hammers any time".

- The Velvet Hammer

"#I'mwithJwar"

-D.O.S.

"Also this thread is now on page 2399, and the pt2399 is the most used delay chip for most dirty delays. Coincidence? therefore 9/11".

-multi_s

"The only thing I can muster after reading this thread:

Thanks Obama"

-raj007
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Adoom » Thu Jul 06, 2017 3:42 pm

Brother, I've been away for a long time, in part because I lost my best friend a little over a year ago.

Just to say, what you're doing is wonderful and I'm sorry for your loss.
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Jesus Was a Robot » Sun Sep 10, 2017 9:57 pm

Headstone is delivered. :(

I arrived at Addison, stayed the night, then headed out to Manor.

When I arrived in Manor I found something that just destroyed me. I'm saying it absolutely mind fucked me to the point of almost losing my mind.

Image

Image

This place. This desolate, poorly managed, absurdly barren, depressing, horrible fucking place is where my friend is buried. He was left in the middle of nowhere. Literally.

When I got there with the GPS, I looked around and everywhere and did not see anything that looked like a graveyard. So I drove down a ways and saw a sign pointing to the left. I followed the sign and came upon this barren desert. I was so shook up that my daughter (who rode along with me) started crying. She could see the anguish in my face and feel my pain.

This cemetery is owned by the county and it's a African American cemetery for people who and I quote "are not cared about any longer or have no family". That's what the man who runs the place told me. A Native American man who was very kind even when I was angry and expressing how hurt I am that anyone would be buried here.

So, now I'm looking into having him moved. I wrote his father on Facebook and I am hoping he agrees. I will pay for everything. I don't care how much it costs. I have some money in an equity loan I could pull if I have to. It might cost a lot but I don't care.

I don't know what else to say. This was horrible. Just fucking horrible.
"My boner"

-Jwar

"You may caress my harem of large velvety hammers any time".

- The Velvet Hammer

"#I'mwithJwar"

-D.O.S.

"Also this thread is now on page 2399, and the pt2399 is the most used delay chip for most dirty delays. Coincidence? therefore 9/11".

-multi_s

"The only thing I can muster after reading this thread:

Thanks Obama"

-raj007
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby Chankgeez » Sun Sep 10, 2017 10:05 pm

:cry: :hug:
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Re: My friends headstone and passing away

Postby actual » Sun Sep 10, 2017 10:27 pm

Sorry, bud.
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