ilovefuzz.com

Early contender for thread of the year also adds shades of complexity to Jwar's boner talk.

From this point on, I'll always ready "My boner" in less of an excited voice but more of a worried "...My boner..."

neonblack wrote:

The Eristic wrote:People keep telling me guitar should be getting me laid, but I'm beginning to think I should've gone with "job".

First of all, I just moved out of Rome, GA. Nice to see another fuzzbreaux in the NWGA mountains.

Second of all, the girls that want guitar players don't care if you have a job. The girls that want employed men don't care if you play guitar.

And then there's that rare subset of women (in my case, 95% of them) that aren't going to fuck you no matter how many paychecks or nasty riffs you bring to the table.

I need to refer to more riffs as nasty.

i wish my paychecks were as nasty as my riffs.

jwar wrote: Also those who haven't been laid in 5 years. Good God man. Hire a hooker or something!!!!!

Why hire a hooker when you've got anime? Riddle me that, boner man.

It's too late guys

odontophobia wrote:I need to refer to more riffs as nasty.

i wish my paychecks were as nasty as my riffs.

I feel like "nasty" really conveys what I'm going for with my riffs. I want people to need a shower after my riffs are done with em

When it comes to riffs, nasty > tasty.

Update 3: Waitress texts like shit but she's pretty chill in person. Didn't get on my nerves the entire time, which is more than I can say for most of the people I've hung out with lately.

Someone at work said to me tonight "You just need to ignore your morals for a while. You'll know when you're ready to be a good person again." Hard to argue with that. But also, hard to ignore my morals.

I decided what I really want is a babysitter with benefits. Watch my kid while I'm at work, and then I come home and pay you 40 bucks and then we fool around when the kid falls asleep.

To clarify, the 40 bucks is for the babysitting, not the fooling around.

hmmm...if yall want some storys of me on the hunt.....used to walk the opposite way on the walking trail to say whatup, like pick out a good one, usually fat and looks lonely...ask to walk with her and go from there....that was in san antonio, actually alot of these were san antonians
....Ive had some horrid dates...one time this girl thought she could talk to spirits....one was a sex phone operator..met her at a bus stop...
had a witch that did blood rituals with her lesbian partner....done the plentyoffish meet up and fuck thing....that was gross....lets see....
...when i was 22 i tricked a 34 yr old into thinking i was older and when she found out she was already hooked so ahah.....hmmm always goin for older ladys...I tend to scare younger women...if I where to go into details yall would puke so.....until I found the woman to replicate myself with I was a wild animal....now im a bull of the woods. ....I once had a chick come into my work, then call back after she left to get my number...went to her house and she showed me her toys......super weird and i dont mean dildos, i mean like tonka trucks and she was 20 somthing....last hot chick was a muslim from starbucks.....((sadness)) ...really wish I didnt dump the girl who worked at a dentist office....all I know is if they cant clean a damn bathroom and have dirty undys....RUN!

and for all you grammar nuts...my style is called first thought best thought...now go read Kerouac

popvulture wrote:

Jero wrote:I recently experienced erectile dysfunction for the first time. Went to the ER the next day.

dying

I thought I was! (Turns out I pulled my groin skating and I'm developing inguinial hernias )

jwar wrote:

Jero wrote:I recently experienced erectile dysfunction for the first time. Went to the ER the next day.

I've had this happen too, but attributed it to my age going up and my will to life going down.
No but for real, if I take Kratom (cross post from addiction I have), I cannot achieve a full hard on or get off. It's fucked up. God I'm so glad I'm not single. I'm sorry guys. All around hugs for those who are. Also those who haven't been laid in 5 years. Good God man. Hire a hooker or something!!!!!

Dude it was terrifying. Now it feels like I'm playing Russian roulette.

neonblack wrote:I want people to need a shower after my riffs are done with em

Better your riffs than your dick right?

If she smokes, she pokes.

Hang out with smokers if you need to get laid.

Words to live by

just not crank.

In all fairness, if she smokes crank she probably still pokes.

Jero wrote:

popvulture wrote:

Jero wrote:I recently experienced erectile dysfunction for the first time. Went to the ER the next day.

dying

I thought I was! (Turns out I pulled my groin skating and I'm developing inguinial hernias )

Oh god, I can commiserate on that one. I had pain in one of my balls recently that of course freaked me the fuck out. Doc had me get an ultrasound just to be safe, but turns out it was just from a pulled muscle.

Dear bodies: stop being such cruel fuckers and leave the nads out of your tangled web of deceit...

In possibly related news, I've had a few worrisome taint spasms the last few days.