the happiness, excitement, and general contentedness thread

[popvulture]

Dude nice! Congratulations!!!

[BetterOffShred]

Baby arrived this morning. Named him Harrison. 10lbs 5oz, super long, giant dick and balls. Alarmingly big.

Grats man! I was 10lbs 8 oz .. but I turned out 6'3" ..
grats also on the oversized baby genitals! His future girlfriends/mothers of your grandchildren (numerous) can't wait!

[aedes]

Congrats pops. Pictures!

[Invisible Man]

Eh, I'm on mobile. Don't know how.

That first oil slick meconium shit was pretty gnarly when coupled with balls. Is this normal? Holy fuck this kid's nutsack is bigger than a golf ball and he's 6 hours old.

In summary: balls; shit; balls.

[Kacey Y]

Eh, I'm on mobile. Don't know how.

That first oil slick meconium shit was pretty gnarly when coupled with balls. Is this normal? Holy fuck this kid's nutsack is bigger than a golf ball and he's 6 hours old.

In summary: balls; shit; balls.

Can't comment on the huge balls, but nasty baby shits are the grim reality of parenthood. I got the honor of the first cleanup on both my boys and it's almost like there's more tar shit than baby.

[aedes]

Oh yeah, meconium. Joyous black tar.

All 3 of my boys had that ginormous sack when they born. Nurse said it had something to do with the hormone bath they were swimming in. It shrunk fairly quickly (I think??)

[BetterOffShred]

Yeah my boy had lots of Tar squirting everywhere, and I honestly don't remember the sack details. I was kind of in shock from the event

[Invisible Man]

I mean huge balls are cool, but proportionately the kid would never walk right or be able to ride a bicycle. I was worried about him. Imagine trying to endure the race of life with a very sensitive honeydew melon dangling between your thighs.
Speaking of: I named him after Harrison Bergeron.

[Chankgeez]

Should've named him Vonneguts.

[comesect2.0]

<REVOLUTION>

[Kacey Y]

I mean huge balls are cool, but proportionately the kid would never walk right or be able to ride a bicycle. I was worried about him. Imagine trying to endure the race of life with a very sensitive honeydew melon dangling between your thighs.
Speaking of: I named him after Harrison Bergeron.

Don't worry about it, I have huge nuts and everything turned out fine. I mean, not really, everything is a disaster but it's not because of my monstrous balls.

[Invisible Man]

This is what physicists and mathematicians refer to as the 'transitive teste property.'

[$harkToootth]

Congrats Iman! My two best friends had their first kid yesterday so...I'm an Uncle now!

I use the Dad Dick bit all the time with the male one of my two best friends. I even spread a rumor amongst our friend group that he has an enormous penis now because "it knows what it can do" "it wants to do that "funny bit where they grow a person again"

[Invisible Man]

Competence breeds confidence.

[$harkToootth]

"Hey...hey...Cervix...remember that funny thing we did...that was pretty great right? You want to do it again?"