The Confessions Thread



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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby codetocontra » Thu Nov 26, 2020 12:03 am

Not great.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby $harkToootth » Fri Nov 27, 2020 1:13 pm

codetocontra wrote:Not great.

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"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby coupleonapkins » Fri Nov 27, 2020 2:46 pm

$harkToootth wrote:
codetocontra wrote:Not great.

Image

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But I gotta say, at least the listing is festive :picard:

NSFW: show
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby Blackened Soul » Fri Nov 27, 2020 5:12 pm

Just make sure you leave a good 10,000 word review on amazon :thumb:

Also real here..
I am sorry.. but I dislike 92% of shoegazey sounding stuff. I find it mostly uninspired and lazy. :?:
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby codetocontra » Fri Dec 11, 2020 6:46 pm

Tried a loofah in the shower for the first time this year and loved it.
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby $harkToootth » Sat Dec 12, 2020 12:45 am

codetocontra wrote:Tried a loofah in the shower for the first time this year and loved it.

It makes a little go a long way. I tried to resist too buddy but... it's just so economical.
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby Achtane » Sat Dec 12, 2020 10:33 am

I had no fucking idea that the loofah you use to clean yourself with is basically the skeleton of a thing related to gourds and cucumbers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Louy7zH9guw
sonidero wrote:Roll a plus 13 for fire and with my immunity to wack I dodge the cough and pass a turn to chill and look at these rocks...

kbithecrowing wrote:Making out with my girl friday night, I couldn't stop thinking about flangers.

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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby Blackened Soul » Sat Dec 12, 2020 1:38 pm

Achtane wrote:I had no fucking idea that the loofah you use to clean yourself with is basically the skeleton of a thing related to gourds and cucumbers.

:lol: Yeah... when I was a kid I thought they came from the ocean....
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby Achtane » Thu Dec 24, 2020 9:35 pm

I make tea by microwaving a tea bag in water.
Come at me, bro.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Louy7zH9guw
sonidero wrote:Roll a plus 13 for fire and with my immunity to wack I dodge the cough and pass a turn to chill and look at these rocks...

kbithecrowing wrote:Making out with my girl friday night, I couldn't stop thinking about flangers.

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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby $harkToootth » Thu Dec 24, 2020 9:51 pm

Achtane wrote:I make tea by microwaving a tea bag in water.
Come at me, bro.

It's fine. I use an electric kettle and it is objectively the easiest thing in the world. I didn't want to get another one and Olin set me straight. He said, "4 fucks sake $hark... they're like $10." He was right.
"SWIPE LEFT ASSHOLE!" -retinal orbita
"Whatever ASSHOLE here’s my pedal that makes humpback whale noises and also it has a built in sequencer so stick it in your craw! -retinal orbita
"Patty Mullen takes me from a ball peen to a sledge" -The Great Velvet Hammer
"...at this exact moment Divine has learned of your jealous scheme from the local town gossip. She also has your address, ASS HOLE!" -Narrator (Mr. J) PINK FLAMINGOS
1 bird per post please
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby qersty » Fri Dec 25, 2020 9:21 am

Achtane wrote:I make tea by microwaving a tea bag in water.
Come at me, bro.

why when there is hot water in the tap :whateva:
imagine finding out your son is your daughter & she's into noise music
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby 01010111 » Mon Sep 25, 2023 1:30 pm

I’m living in a hotel room right now, and I forgot to tell them to not clean my room. I had the horrifying realization on my way back to my hotel room that I’d also forgotten to put away my sex toys. They had been left to dry in the bathroom sink after I’d cleaned them.

On getting back to my hotel room, I noticed a few things. The floors were cleaner, but in the bathroom it looked like things had been knocked over. I’m guessing they didn’t recognize things right away and tried to tidy up the sink. When they realized what they had handled, they panicked, took a step back and scrambled out of the bathroom. I feel so bad. They’re definitely getting a big tip when I check out.


Description of the toys below:
NSFW: show
one motorized butt plug
one motorized male masturbator (disassembled)
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby coldbrightsunlight » Tue Sep 26, 2023 4:08 pm

:lol:



:erm:



:animal:
füzz lover. Friend. Quilter evangelist.

I make music sometimes:

https://nitrx.bandcamp.com/

https://mediocrisy.bandcamp.com/

https://fleshcouch.bandcamp.com
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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby coupleonapkins » Tue Sep 26, 2023 7:17 pm

01010111 wrote:They’re definitely getting a big tip when I check out.


Description of the toys below:
NSFW: show
one motorized butt plug
one motorized male masturbator (disassembled)

Thought this was the automotive thread for a second :?: :erm: :lol:

I'm glad you were considerate enough to acknowledge the welfare of the people who cleaned your room, as, in my direct experience, most people do the very opposite.
qersty wrote:
Achtane wrote:I make tea by microwaving a tea bag in water.
Come at me, bro.

why when there is hot water in the tap :whateva:

If your tap water can hit 97 celcius, I'll take you up on that offer :p

I finally bought a bag of loose leaf tea (Hazo Earl Grey) at the local asian market, and it has been wonderful. I'd been drinking up all the leftover teas in the house, most of which I realized were in weird polyester fiber blended bags (just about every company does this, sadly), so I have a great infuser that I've been using. So no more pulverized dust for awhile! But I do still love snorting Tetley dust on certain occasions, so that is definitely staying inna pantry for thee 4seeable future.
$harkToootth wrote:I use an electric kettle and it is objectively the easiest thing in the world. I didn't want to get another one and Olin set me straight. He said, "4 fucks sake $hark... they're like $10." He was right.

They're about $20 now, but I saw a cordless??? bluetooth enabled???? one for $30????? I do miss the kettle whistle, sommethymmes :cry:

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Re: The Confessions Thread

Postby coupleonapkins » Tue Sep 26, 2023 7:24 pm

$harkToootth wrote:Since my only goal for 2021 is to jerk off a lot more... I might invest in one of these https://www.amazon.com/Exceart-Urethral ... B083Z4KWC6

coupleonapkins wrote:
$harkToootth wrote:
codetocontra wrote:Not great.

Image

Image

But I gotta say, at least the listing is festive :picard:

NSFW: show
Image

Historical yupdayte (thank you, yaaalgorithm) :joy:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UA3Qah6z1gg
Good morning!
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