So, not at all surprised by this, but what a shock the baby weird guitar is made from MDF
found an existing crack and expanded it with a chisel to see what was under the >1mm of paint (hey it was always going to be a beater and it's not somewhere important).
Yeah, thinking a heat gun or maybe some disgusting chemical stripper? IDK enough about products for that kinda stuff and obviously they might ruin the "wood"...
But whatever method, firstly it's gonna take some doing, second I'd need to lay down a similarly opaque replacement finish
I'll leave the finish on the back burner for now and get it playing how I want. The pickup, surprisingly, sounds entirely fine, and with some new strings on it plays pretty well. IDK how good the intonation can possibly get but it's manageable for now - the wide spacing makes little bends for subtle adjustment within chords nice and easy. I've not yet tried to get my new nut slots at the proper height or adjust the bridge at all, one thing at a time.
This layered paint effect is actually kind of cool so I'm tempted to experiment with some heavy and uneven sanding to see if I can bring it out across the body.