new song: step by step looking for input

[lawrence scaduto]

Looking for input. does it work?

especially the first chorus. does it work as is?

I think it needs some counter melody or rhythm. what do you think?

i think i need to redo the final line's harmony to something else.

[Astricii]

really awesome!

I'd say a really kinda slapback-y delay with long repeats on the little melody thing after each vocal phrase would be kinda cool. something crispy like a boss DD# style delay and maybe another leady thing at the end and It'd be set.

[lawrence scaduto]

really awesome!

I'd say a really kinda slapback-y delay with long repeats on the little melody thing after each vocal phrase would be kinda cool. something crispy like a boss DD# style delay and maybe another leady thing at the end and It'd be set.

That's a great idea. I'm gonna try that.
since i posted this I moved on to the second verse and used a piano to do that specific melody. i wonder of the delay will work on that too.

[TheOndrakGuy]

Make this happen - this is brilliant and happy and I love it so far!

I think the chorus could maybe do with a less 'bassy' bass, maybe retain some fuzz or something to soften it a little bit. Other than that, this was just an injection of feel-good.

[lawrence scaduto]

Latest version

added most of the ideas presented here:

tons of little mix tweaks
piano on second verse
added second verse and prechorus
redid final prechorus harmony to something less embarrassing
plus a ton of other shit i don't remember

i'm considering a bridge before the second chorus to hold the tension. i'm not exactly sure how to do that. i do know i can go into a chorus and be out and the song will be fine

i also want to change a few lines of the lyrics but i'm not sure yet. i'm the most self concious about my voice so i tend to hyper focus on that. which is why this song is so meta. its easy to write about things that frustrate me.

thanks to all of the input. even if i don't agree it's really motivating and extremely appreciated.

ondrak: thanks for that opinion. it really helped me stand firm on the decision to make that chorus just pure dirt bass and drums which is what i needed the most; an actual opinion of my own.
astricii: did some delay. i don't think it was exactly what you were thinking but it was great starting point and I appreciate that. I think it could be tweaked to something better but for now i don't think it's embarrassing. Which is my new level of artistic comfort, "is it, embarrassing? then move on to another song task."

[bronzetalon]

Right at 1:40 I think the bass should come in again there. Nice sound so far though.

[Astricii]

I was thinking more along the lines of the delay at the beginning of this song but it does sound pretty awesome now

[lawrence scaduto]

I was thinking more along the lines of the delay at the beginning of this song but it does sound pretty awesome now

I love the liars (a little less and less for each album after drums not dead). But great reference. I wonder if there's room in the mix for this kind of delay. Also, i kind of like what's going on there now but i'll see if i can work it in and what it might sound like. It's a great idea. Thanks. I;m also still unsure about the second chorus and trying to find a way to hold the tension before it comes in. Now is where i wish i knew musical theory and how to do key changes.

[coldbrightsunlight]

Right at 1:40 I think the bass should come in again there. Nice sound so far though.

Totally agree. And this might just be my speakers but I think the bass is a little bit too loud in the chorus. Love the sound though!

I loove having the extra piano thing at the end of the second prechorus, I think that's enough of a break and don't think it needs a bridge. I'm not sure I like the singing an octave lower there either? But I dunno, if you like it go with that.

Overall I think the song is great! Love the style.

[Achtane]

I just wanted to say that I'm super happy yr making new music.

[lawrence scaduto]

I just wanted to say that I'm super happy yr making new music.

Thanks man. I never stopped. Just never get close to finalizing lyrics and vocals. I have probably 30 songs near completion since my last record.

[lawrence scaduto]

ok so it's almost done.

latest version with ending



there's things in the mix i want to tweak but i think i should just call it done and move on to making a video.