If Slayer is the Eagles of death metal...

[rustywire]

Excellent picks, for 2 bands I could do without ever hearing again.
20th century relics that should remain historical, archived and ignored.

[DarkAxel]

The Eagles are terrible. As are the Eagles of Death Metal.

I incredibly agree with D.o.S.

can't wait to see EODM live this summer. I was very confused by the thread title and it took like 10 minutes of reading the OP over and over again before it registered

[goroth]

Hahaha, I've got this whole fucking thread backwards.

Wikipedia claims that Vader is the Eagles of death metal.

Makes some sense in that at least Vader is death metal.

So um...
Vader is like brutal, awesomely dependable, and pretty much get better with every recording (except perhaps the last one). They dislike religion. A lot. Have good videos. Over the top, but without a shred of irony which leads to consistent awesomeness.

How the shit does that relate to the Eagles then?

I'm even more confused than when I got the quote wrong and started this thread.

I'm posting one hour of greatness to rectify my mistake in the OP.

[D.o.S.]

What is the Eagles?

I'm ignoring the fact that the simile is fundamentally flawed given that Slayer never have and never will play death metal.

I've listened to lots of Slayer. I get what they are. But the only Eagles tune I know of is Hotel California. I think. I probably know other tunes. I dunno. I guess, due to the syntax, that the simile about Slayer was created for someone who knew a lot about the Eagles. Or at least, enough. But what about the other way round? For someone who knows nothing about the Eagles? They are the Slayer of what? Dad rock? But aren't AC/DC the Slayer of Dad Rock? Blues rock? But isn't that ZZ top? Shitty ballads? Michael Bolton? No?

And is being the Slayer of anything good? I mean, I love Slayer, but after Decade of Aggression they sucked progressively harder, and their live shows are so boring I'd rather watch Windows 3.1 defrag a hard disk. But that first decade, a moderate to heavy consumption of alcohol and the general je ne sais quoi that is Slayer all combine to make them loveable legends.

So how does that relate to the Eagles?
The Eagles is the Slayer of what, and is that a good thing?

Ok first you are forgetting big important things such as Slayer did not have puck rock invented to protest their shitty crappy jam for them man music that actually harms people's brains. Also, look what they did to Joe Walsh.. they made him into a eagle that's like becoming one of the pod people.

This a million times over. The James Gang, like the EODM, were fucking awesome, and the Eagles killed it when they poached Joe Walsh.

I incredibly agree with D.o.S.

This is what's called "being correct." Let the correctness wash over you. Breathe it in, like the smell of blood and salt in the ocean after you've chased down the White Whale and slain him. Then, as that feeling recedes with the tides, realize that I live in this nearly post-coital frothy aquatic glory all day every day.

Erm, I mean, yes, they are a good band.

[Gone Fission]

D.O.S. has an excellent point, but I think of them as the Eagles of Coke-Heads Who Hate Each Other.

Weren't The Eagles coke heads who hated each other?

I think whoever came first gets the rights.

Well, yes, that was my point--the Eagles are the Eagles of Coke-Heads Who Hate Each Other.

[casecandy]

TBH... I love The Eagles. What's great is, they were categorically not an album band, so if you have Greatest Hits Vol. 1 and Vol. 2, you're set. Actually, you are more than set. That is 100% of their good music and then some mediocre music to boot. But what good music it is. Off the top of my head... the following songs are 10/10 songs: "Hotel California," "Take It Easy," "The Long Run," "Take It To The Limit," "Seven Bridges Road," "Witchy Woman," a bunch of other shit. Classic dad rock/mom rock. When I hear "Witchy Woman" this is how vivid the mental imagery is for me:

You are twelve years old. It's the middle of the night. Your entire family is in your Ford Aerostar, driving home through the blackness together in complete quiet, your younger brother's Atom hockey game having recently come to a close, a 6-2 victory. The vehicle moves through a blizzard, the tiny pieces of snow flying back past the windows like stars as the Millennium Falcon enters hyperspeed. The heat is blasting with such ferocity into your face and left arm that your skin is entirely dry in the winter air. Your father stares straight ahead with both hands on the wheel. You and your three brothers appear to be asleep in the back seat. But you aren't, you're just laying there, extremely quietly, listening to the radio. It is the AM station coming from the closest large city. It crackles as your vehicle begins to drive out of the station's range, but not before you hear the opening falsetto of a certain song. The song is "Witchy Women." Your mom reaches over and cranks the volume. Your brothers keep on sleeping. You continue to listen to The Eagles in a haze of blinding snow, blasting heat, and radio static. "See how high she flies. She got the moon in her eye-eye-eyes..."

It's incredible music and it is what it is: bonehead country rock that means a lot more than it ought to, because the thing is, they understood the sentimental aspects of songwriting and imagery, too. For what are we all, if not metaphorically standing on some corner in Winslow, AZ, waiting to be picked up by an equally metaphorical girl in a flat-bed Ford?

[DarkAxel]

I've got massive childhood flashback when I hear The Beach Boys. I love The Beach Boys so much

also Bee Gees

[magiclawnchair]

eagles?!?

and it came to pass when i hear the word eagle i think of one thing...

[Achtane]

Vader is like brutal, awesomely dependable, and pretty much get better with every recording (except perhaps the last one)

AGREED

IT'S
VADER
TIME

[goroth]

Achtane, I'm not sure what I find funnier - that picture itself, or the fact that you knew that particular image existed.

[Thylacine Dream]

TBH... I love The Eagles. What's great is, they were categorically not an album band, so if you have Greatest Hits Vol. 1 and Vol. 2, you're set. Actually, you are more than set. That is 100% of their good music and then some mediocre music to boot. But what good music it is. Off the top of my head... the following songs are 10/10 songs: "Hotel California," "Take It Easy," "The Long Run," "Take It To The Limit," "Seven Bridges Road," "Witchy Woman," a bunch of other shit. Classic dad rock/mom rock. When I hear "Witchy Woman" this is how vivid the mental imagery is for me:

You are twelve years old. It's the middle of the night. Your entire family is in your Ford Aerostar, driving home through the blackness together in complete quiet, your younger brother's Atom hockey game having recently come to a close, a 6-2 victory. The vehicle moves through a blizzard, the tiny pieces of snow flying back past the windows like stars as the Millennium Falcon enters hyperspeed. The heat is blasting with such ferocity into your face and left arm that your skin is entirely dry in the winter air. Your father stares straight ahead with both hands on the wheel. You and your three brothers appear to be asleep in the back seat. But you aren't, you're just laying there, extremely quietly, listening to the radio. It is the AM station coming from the closest large city. It crackles as your vehicle begins to drive out of the station's range, but not before you hear the opening falsetto of a certain song. The song is "Witchy Women." Your mom reaches over and cranks the volume. Your brothers keep on sleeping. You continue to listen to The Eagles in a haze of blinding snow, blasting heat, and radio static. "See how high she flies. She got the moon in her eye-eye-eyes..."

It's incredible music and it is what it is: bonehead country rock that means a lot more than it ought to, because the thing is, they understood the sentimental aspects of songwriting and imagery, too. For what are we all, if not metaphorically standing on some corner in Winslow, AZ, waiting to be picked up by an equally metaphorical girl in a flat-bed Ford?

Thank you for this.

[Blackened Soul]

you all are hurting my head

[Iommic Pope]

Fuck the Eagles. Seriously. Affording them any credibility is like giving a free pass to all those degenerate baby boomer wannabe hippie scum that cashed in and coked up throughout the 80s and sold out what was left of the planet after colonial rape, mass industrialisation and Cold War had devoured the spoils.
Joe Walsh has some rad solo shit though, granted.
But you are seriously morally obligated to hate the Eagles.

Anyway, EODM are ok. I got no beef with them.

As for Slayer being relics, yeah, but rusty, will you be rage filled and touring hard at their age?
Props where due.

Vader are strong contenders for this mantle, but for the generic metal crown I would nominate Devildriver for their overall sameness record to record.
I might even stretch to Machine Head, for their work Burning Red and beyond, but most of it is so abysmal it falls short of sameness and wanders into tragedy.

Ashes of Empires was alright though.

[StopReferencing]

Ok first you are forgetting big important things such as Slayer did not have puck rock invented to protest their shitty crappy jam for them man music that actually harms people's brains. Also, look what they did to Joe Walsh.. they made him into a eagle that's like becoming one of the pod people.

Yeah, what Slayer did to Joe Walsh is a real crime.

[casecandy]

But you are seriously morally obligated to hate the Eagles.

I am not morally obligated to do anything. That's what Kierkegaard told me. At least I think it was Kierkegaard. I was pretty out of 'er.